The Hunger Games: Continued

Restless Reasoning

10 years later...
Katniss' POV

No.
This can't be right.
Sometimes it happens. Irregularity, it happens to all women. It can't mean what I think it does. I'm overthinking.
And the sickness? Everyone gets sick, it's probably something I ate.

I walk through the woods. Alone, while Peeta works at the bakery. He had asked me to stop by for some breakfast before he left the house this morning and it's already noon. I should probably stop by, no doubt he'll be wondering where I am.

I don't know that I can do it. I don't know that I can walk into the bakery with a content smile on my face, for I am not content at all. I am crumbling. I am in denial. I know the signs.

The leaves crunch beneath my boots, my bow is gripped in my hands. I came here to hunt, but I've changed my mind. I need no game, when I shoot I'd be doing naught but relieving my stress, somehow that seems unfair to the animals. Dying with no great purpose.

What do I do? My mind is a jungle. I don't want this to be true, but it isn't something I can wait out. Spinning, the trees around me, the ground beneath my feet. Spinning, my mind, the future that waits me. I stumble backwards, my hands fumbling for the conveniently situated log beneath me. I ease myself down onto the fallen tree and run my hands across my face, in my hair. I can't, I can't, I can't. This isn't happening. I should take a test, but I'm scared it will tell me what I'm already sure of. I should take a test, by some sort of miracle it might tell me what I want to hear.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm running, very fast. Through the woods, across the square, past the bakery, past the butchers, until I land at Delly's doorstep. I chap the door loudly. "Katniss! What's the matter?" Delly exclaims as she pulls open the door. I hadn't even realised I'd started crying until Delly wipes my tears away.

With a warm cup of tea in hand, I tell Delly everything. The morning sickness, the irregularity, and she knows instantly what I fear. "Oh, Katniss. Everything is going to be alright. Having Leo has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I promise you, the minute you bring a life into the world, you are consumed by an unconditional love, it feels wonderful." She says. I tap my fingers on the mug in my hand.
"I don't know, I don't think I'd be a good mother." I say. Delly nods.
"I thought so too. Everything turned out alright though didn't it? Leo's been in our life for ten years now and he's grown up to be such an incredible person." Delly's eyes skit across the room, she knows I'm unconvinced. "I have a test." She says. "I think you should take it."

I knew it, so once the test is done, I don't know why I fall into Delly's arms in a puddle of tears.

***

I wait at home. The phone is ringing. I don't answer it. It'll be Peeta calling to ask where I am. Why wasn't I at the bakery for breakfast? Why haven't I called him today? Why didn't I pick up the phone the first five times? What is weighing me down is not something I can reveal to Peeta over the phone.

Time passes so slowly. I sit on the couch. I stare at the phone. I eat an apple. I simply wander around the house. Seconds feel like minutes and minutes feels like hours. I'm restless, I can't keep still. I stare at the phone and the phone stares at me, chanting it's repetitive, infuriating ring. Should I pick it up? Maybe it's not Peeta, maybe it's Annie, sometimes she calls for a catch up. Maybe it's Dr Aurelius calling to check in on us. Perhaps It's Haymitch. Oh, who am I kidding? Only Peeta would call this many times.

I hear the door, it creaks open, the phone still rings. Mobile in hand, Peeta walks in to find me staring at the home phone. "Why haven't you been picking up? The phone is literally right in front of you..." Peeta says, gesturing to the phone and making his way over to join me on the sofa. "Where have you been all day? I've been worried." He says, before leaning in for a kiss. When we we pull away, I gather up my courage and spit it out.
"Peeta," I start off gently. He senses something is off. "I have to tell you something."
"W-what is it?" He stutters, his eyes scanning mine.
"I'm pregnant."