The Hunger Games: Continued

Doubtless

2 months later
Katniss' POV

Peeta must make frequent visits to his therapist.
Dr Aurelius has been calling us almost everyday for the last few months, reminding us that it's mandatory that Peeta takes time to visit her. Of course, he has refused since the calls started. I am not permitted to go with him, I might trigger nasty memories, the doctor says. Peeta insists that he's fine, although I know that he is not, he gets confused sometimes and he has venom attacks, we manage. But I know it's not alright. I don't think I can bare to have him gone, be it just a couple of days. Haymitch agrees that it's best for him, for us to let him go for a little while.
So, we wait at the train station in the pouring rain. My hair is matted in damp clumps, my fathers leather hunting jacket chafing my skin. Peeta looks sorrowful as he waits for his ride to pull up. "I don't see why I have to go." He says. I raise my eyebrows at him, questioningly, because yes he does.
"Talk some sense to me," I tell him.
"I can't."
"Then go." I conclude. I've been calm about this whole situation up until the train pulls up to the station. Peeta's hair falls over his face in wet strands. He looks a mess and so beautiful all at the same time. I've never thought like this before, which is stupid because I've nearly lost him so many times, but suddenly I'm savouring every inch of him like I'll never see him again. I feel ridiculous, as I grab him tightly. I bury my head in the crook of his neck. Mixed emotions swimming in the back of my mind. Go, don't go. All at the same time. He brings his head up and rests his lips on my forehead lightly, before pulling away. "I'll see you soon, Okay?" He says.
"Okay." I'm on the verge of tears, but I do all I can to conceal them. I feel pathetic as I count every step he takes before vanishing through the train door. Haymitch, who had walked us to the train station, walks me home.
"He'll be back soon. It's for his own good, you've seen his attacks, they can be bad." Haymitch says. I nod, as he wraps his arm around my shoulders. We walk home in silence.
"Would you like me to stay with you?" Haymitch asks when we reach my doorstep.
"I'll be alright. Thank you." I give Haymitch a hug before entering my empty house.

***

I keep expecting to bump into Peeta, to walk into the study and find him painting, to walk into my bedroom and find him lying on the bed, sleeping, to walk into the kitchen and find him baking. I suddenly feel so painfully lonely. I need his hugs, his kisses, I feel deprived of affection - which is ridiculous, because it has only been about half a day.
Oh, how to pass the time?

I soon find myself on the roof of the house, Buttercup snuggled on my lap. The air is cold - the kind of cold that indicates snow. I've never been a real fan of snow, it makes hunting harder. But I want it to snow, I want to watch the snowflakes melt in my palms and land on my eyelashes. I want to cuddle up on the sofa by the fire and feel thankful for it's warmth. I'll make hot milk and spices, Peeta can bake a batch of cheese buns and we can build snowmen like I used to do with Prim...

I quickly retreat from the roof with buttercup in my arms. It's no good to think about Prim, not when Peeta isn't here to help me get through it. Plus, I don't think the roof is a safe place to be when I'm feeling so sorrowful.

Peeta's POV

Hospital machinery beeps and whirs around me. I lay on a long plump sofa, my head back, my eyes closed. Dr Aurelius sits by me on a large office chair. "Now, Peeta, surgically there is nothing we can do for you. The remaining venom will stay in your bloodstream. Although, therapeutically, we can reduce your attacks." Good news, I think.
"How?" I ask, eagerly.
"Okay, close your eyes." I obey. "I'm going to state a name or a situation. Afterward, you state the first word that comes into your mind. Okay?" The doctor says.
"Okay." I agree.
"The tracker jacker attack from your first games." She begins.
"Careers." I say.
"Okay. The beach in the Quarter Quell." She says.
"Katniss."
"The bombs that killed Prim." She states.
"Angry."
"Okay. Last one - Katniss Everdeen."
"Love." I answer.
"Thank you. Now, every time you feel an attack coming on repeat this sequence of events in your mind and remember the word you associate with them. Then you can make sense of the situations, so they don't get muddled. Alright."  I desperately hope this works. I don't want Katniss to have to witness my attacks.