And I do exactly that- let it marinade. I become the quiet one, even as we pick up the kids from Jawaad (who damn near meets us at the lobby door) and begin the trek back home with two and a half sleeping toddlers.
She has most certainly given me a lot to think about, some things I suppose I knew deep down, but thought and maybe hoped she hadn't picked up on. Except for the double standard thing, because I never even realized I was doing that. It's not like I'd ever choose any of those girls- or anyone for that matter- over Charlie. I mean, come on guys, she means everything to me, in case you missed that huge as fuck detail. I guess I just get so caught up in the moment that I forget about her feelings, of which I'm gonna try my damndest to be mindful from now on.
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Zee. I just wanted you to be aware," she says, slipping off her tanktop and shimmying out of her jeans as we finally make it to our bedroom after a long day. I toss her my t-shirt from this evening and she slips it on over her thin frame. "I'm sorry if-"
"Don't apologize to me Charlie, seriously," I interrupt as I turn to face the closet and undo my belt buckle. "I should be apologizing to you. I was a dick tonight. This whole double standard thing...I didn't even realize I was doing it. And as for the other stuff you said, you're right. I just get caught up in my head and shit cause you're pretty ace and I don't want you to leave, you know, cause like, you mean quite a bit to me and I don't know what I'd do without you, yeah?" Who knew admitting your insecurities out loud would be so tough?
"Not leaving...you're stuck with me." She whispers the soft reminder that I need to hear from time to time, suddenly slotting against me and resting her head in the crook of my back as my hands fumble around with my zipper. "We're like Catdog." Her fingers scratch across my happy trail. "Love that show."
"Well I love you."
"And I love that you're a big mush ball. My big-but-really-tiny teddy bear." She grins, and true to her quirky nature, she makes my mind and heart feel at ease.
*
"Daddy?" I blink open my eyes after the initial thought that I must be dreaming wears off, and find Marley sitting right on top of my torso, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Though his eyes do hold that sleepy look. "Daddy, you gonna come wid me because my friend is cryin'. Hims is cryin' and I thinked him sawed da boogeyman."
It takes me a second to get myself sorted. "Where is he, bud?" I croak, rubbing at my eyes. I blindly reach for my phone in an attempt to light up Marley's face so that I can see him better and check the time...and hurrah, it's two fifty fucking six in the morning. "Is he still in your bedroom?"
"No," Marley exclaims. "Hims is standin' right dere because-because I telled him to come wid me and we gonna get my daddy cause you gonna make da boogeyman goes away."
I peer around Marley, barely making out Adrian's silhouette off in the near distance. "Okay, buddy. Let me get up." Marley climbs off of me-less than gracefully, since he knees me right in the ribs- and I stretch before standing up.
I walk over to Adrian with Marley in tow and kneel down to his level. "Hey there little guy. What's goin on?"
Adrian doesn't answer, so Marley steps in. "You gonna tell my daddy cause him's gonna fix it!" Marley belts. "You gonna show him."
I ruffle Mar's hair. My poor little guy's so concerned. "Mar, why don't you wait in the bed with mum and I'm gonna bring your friend back to the room, okay? Remember when you and I used to go face the monsters together?"
He nods his head. "Yeah, we telled dem dat I not scared cause I a big, strong boy and dey go'd away. You gonna do dat for my friend?"
"You got it, bub."
Chapter 40
Start from the beginning
