Darkness[Uncomplete][Old]

Is there an answer?

Don't play music yet
I heard something as I was crying on the piano. My door was opening. Mom probably got in my room.
-Willow. What is this? She says sternly
Mom was the only one who I could talk to, but not like a real person. As I heard her voice, the piano disappeared, my tears were fading from my face and eyes. I stare at my mom with the most dead eyes I could have. What she saw was my room, me and colour... I saw the darkness and my mom standing in front of me.
-The teacher sent an e-mail saying that your sleeping in class, failing classes and you don't answer when she talks to you.
-Mom. I need help. I tried to point out to her that I was stuck in the darkness
-We got all tutor's in the world! Even psychologist! What is it?
She didn't get the message and I couldn't tell her clearly the word darkness to her.
She looks in my eyes, as I'm sitting on my bed. She looks at them
-Are you ok? Your blue eyes, they don't have colour. Why do they look dead.
-Leave me alone. I say neutrally and I lie on my bed
She walks out, her eyes had a worried look.
As I hear the piano all over again. I isolate  myself. The darkness returns and I drift off to sleep.

I wake up early this morning
Everything was a repeat, as I stare  at the walls and then look around my room. I grab the leaf that I drew a smile on. It looked like it was trying to make me smile. But I stared at it, with the most dead and neutral face. I head down and eat, I get ready and head to school. The wind was strong today. As I held the leaf in my hand. I'd tried something to escape the first step to escape was feeling emotion. What if I released this leaf, will I smile?
-Be free. Go with your friends. I toss it in the air and it goes with the other leaves.
I don't feel anything. I just stare at it neutrally and as soon as I do that. The darkness comes back. Like it noticed I was trying to escape so it came to capture me again. I saw the darkness and I heard the piano. I went isolate again, the world was still black and white. I looked at the scene, I was still in front of my house. I had my book and the boys book. As I stood in front of my door house, I see someone staring at me. It was the boy from yesterday, I had his book. We have this strange stare, he looks at me curiously, his eyes were lit like fire, while I looked at him with the same face I have 24/7. The stare goes on for a minute until he runs off, but it looked like he dropped something.
"What's with this guy and dropping things. I noticed he dropped it on purpose."
I cross the road and pick it up and it was a music sheet with a different song that I will never hear. I turn it around and there's a message.
'Please read book then return it when done. You may keep this paper'
I didn't feel surprised, my eyes didn't look surprised. I continue my day.

Later on, in math class, I didn't understand anything. I tried to raise my hand, but my fingers went down and so did my hand. So I just went back to darkness. Drawing the darkness again. This was the 20th time I just drew the darkness in my book. As darkness comes and the piano appears I decide to read the book, but something tells me not too. And I don't. But then I open it afterwards. The half of the book, was drawings of a piano, some were the notes to the song I hear everyday day and night. Some drawings were faces with faces a bit like mine, then I saw it. Some of the pages were just black. Darkness? What? After I saw that, they're were note sheets drawn on the paper to other songs. Others I have never heard. Next other papers said 'freedom'. And then some face drawings had other expressions from just neutral. Who was this guy? My two friends in front of me turn around to talk to me and they whisper.
-Hey for lunch were going to sit at another table with other friends. They don't want you to be with us sorry.
I just nodded and the bell rung. That was first period after was music. I hated music, this is where the song of the piano was really heard. Since when signing up for middle school you either choose, strings, wind and percussion or vocal.
I chose percussion. Each class someone had to play a song. This time it was me. All I felt like playing was the music I heard.
Play music(If you want)
As I approached the piano, the darkness returns and I sit on the piano. And play the music. I thought of when my class mates played their songs. They clapped, I just stood there. As I play it. People stare and then smile. I press the keys, my fingers move as usual. My face just stays the same. The darkness is back and I'm surrounded. I finish the song and everyone claps. The rest of the class goes on.
The next class was just a normal as it will ever be. Still in the dark, still the same tune and still be people making fun of me.
As lunch arrives, I was looking for spot to eat, but a lot were taken. There was only a few seats left and obviously everyone would say 'sorry someone is sitting there or it's taken'. Some even just say 'We don't like you. Your an embarrassment' they would say. At that moment I see the same boy, he was sitting around some guys. But it didn't bother me. I still had his book and I decided to give it back. I approach and  place it on the table.
-Oh thanks. What is your next class? He randomly ask
I just stay quiet, I wanted to speak, but I couldn't.
-Oh she as the same class as me. Science. A guy tells him
-Ok. Hey you looking for a seat? The boy ask
I nod. Still. Trying to speak. But it was like darkness was trying to cover my mouth.
-Do you wanna sit with us?
-Sure. I say, I just stand there realizing I just spoke. It's been so long since I said something
-Earth to girl. He says staring You gonna sit
-Are you sure? She should sit with us? One of his friends ask What will people think?
-Who cares what people think. The others are gonna say no. Anyways why did you throw that leaf in the air this morning? He answers and ask
I don't speak again.
-Yo were leaving to basket-ball practice! His friends say All the guys leave and I'm left with the boy. The bell rings to go to recess, he just looks at me and then gives a paper. It said 'music room' I head outside and decide to walk around. I as I walk the same music is heard again. Why is this all I hear. I don't understand. I walk around and all around me turns black. Everyone disappears.
"Why? I just want to be human. I'm not human am I? Humans have life. I don't. I just want to spread my wings and be free." My parents didn't name me Willow for no reason. I can't even call myself human. The question is do I go to the music room or not? I'm deciding I'm not going. After all. I'm alone. This boy. I'm just going to ruin his life.
That's why my friends wouldn't invite me to their party last year. I'm just a trail of misery, anyone who is friends with me is bound to leave me. I am alone. I have no taste. I remember the past
I was a kid. I had more than 2 friends, everyone would be there for me and then when darkness arrived. I stopped laughing with them. I started not caring anymore. I saw one of my friends get bullied and walked away. As I became one with darkness. My friends who left me spread rumours people avoided me. It was horrible to watch. As I tried to call for help as darkness came and took me away. I scream and scream for help. My vision of seeing colour faded away. I stopped hearing the music. All I heard was that one song. I still cried and cried for help. But nobody heard and when people listened I couldn't speak. I was a prisoner to darkness never to escape. I wanted to be free. I wanted to fight back. I wanted to struggle my way out. I wanted to be free. Freedom is what I reached out for. It was something beyond my reach.
Darkness is like a shadow. A shadow that haunts me, follows me. It's everywhere.
All I'm looking for is freedom. But what was the answer?