Far beyond broken.

Chapter fourteen - No change

I didn't understand why Isaac and Allison were still here? Didn't they like have school or something?

I mean sure I had school,but I wasn't ready to go back yet. I had a reason; I was more than likely talk of corridors. Probably worse than usual, and I couldn't face that.

The staring would become worse, the comments would be worse. Everything would be worse. I would somehow be classed as more pathetic than before. No one would take pity on me, no one would give me sympathy. People were just mean and cruel... Society was mean and cruel. I'm pretty much insignificant because I don't fit in with people... Like its so unfair. I never asked for depression. I never asked to be socially awkward. I never asked to be suicidal. And i sure as hell never asked to be me. My mother should of never had me; she would of saved me a lot of pain and misery...

My mother.

Damn. I really didn't want to think about her; it always lead to me thinking about her death and my fathers. How it was my fault... How everything was my fault.

I didn't need this right now. I snapped out of my thoughts and I realised I was just stood in the middle of the hallway. I'm so easily distracted and it just needs to stop.

I headed down the stairs, and entered the living room. Allison and Isaac were both sat on there phones, they didn't even acknowledge me. Once again, it shows my significance really.

My stomach began to growl... I let out a small sigh, screw my diet I'm hungry and I'm going to eat and eat and eat. Simply because I can. I may as well make the most of my little time left on this planet. And I found food very satisfying... So satisfying.

I went into the kitchen to see my laptop... It was open, switched on. Perhaps I shouldn't look, but my curiosity got the better of me and it actually is my laptop.

I looked at the screen to see it was Isaac's facebook logged in.

There were loads of statuses... Comments. I squinted as I looked at the page, wait it was a private group page? Hating on Lydia Smith.

Is this actually happening?

I began to scroll down, I was going to read the nasty things people had said about me... I had a right to know as it concerned me.

Why doesn't she try bleach? I heard that's successful?

How pathetic, the fat, ugly piece of shit couldn't even kill herself. What actually can she do? What use is she to anyone?

I don't get how she has any friends? Why are Allison and Isaac friends with her? Or do they just feel sorry for her?

She needs to do everyone a favour and kill herself successfully this time.

There was loads more. A page full of hate. People hated me so much, there was absolutely no change in that. No change in the way I saw things, no change in nothing. My suicide attempt truly was pointless, it had just made Isaac and Allison more clingy if anything.

But bleach? Really? I hadn't thought of that. I really appreciate the idea, I might actually go and try that later. At least it will satisfy people... Make them happy. It'll give them what they want.

But being the pathetic person I am, I teared up at all the hate and nasty stuff I had just read about myself. I ran upstairs, unnoticed and went to the bathroom. I locked the door the door behind me too... I needed to realise... I needed to do something. I couldn't just sit this out and feel better in time.

I began to rummage around in the cupboards... There were no blades, no nothing. Isaac and Allison must of discarded of them, they literally have no right to do that!

But when rummaging around in the cupboard I did find something else... Bleach to be precise. The very thing I was told to use by one of the many people who hated on me.

Perhaps this was my saviour. Perhaps this was the time to end it all for real this time.

I was strongly considering this as I may not be posed with another opportunity like this. I found myself undoing the bleach lid. I placed the lid down on the floor.

I was then greeted by a strong, cleaning scent... Bleach. Damn it didn't smell good, so it sure as hell wouldn't taste good either. But i truly believed it would all be worth it.

I picked up the full bottle of bleach... My last thoughts before taking that sip was i'm going to do this, i will be successful and everyone gets what they want.

There was then a crash... A crash from downstairs. But I wasn't going to let something so stupid get in my way, not this time.

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A/n

Yeah,I suck. I'm so sorry about this, I had no ideas (not really valid reason) but this just sprung to mind so I wrote it. Like if I have ideas, I promise I will write. Time is not an issue for me when it comes to writing.

Unedited, yeah i totally suck. First of all i take about 6 weeks to update, secondly i can't even produce a mistake free chapter.

I will try and start updating this more regularly. I need to anyway. I want this book to have 25-30 chapters so its about half done :)

Thanks for reading <3

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Freya xx