Kidnapped by Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Chapter Seventy-Five

My squadron met me early and I began to go through drills with them. It was nearly unendurable. During the entire portion of the gun assembling, my thoughts were centered around what Kespia and Kylo Ren could've potentially been doing. 

I could barely focus during all other parts of the training. My mind was only on one thing -- Kylo Ren and Kespia. 

The thought of her replacing me honestly hurt. I couldn't think of Kylo Ren with another woman, let alone a woman that is absolutely flawless. I felt a pang of agony every time I thought of them together, and myself completely forgotten from Kylo Ren's mind. 

The end of work came and I rushed back to my cell. I had to go quickly because tears were threatening to make an appearance when I was only halfway there. My vision was completely blurry due to brimming tears in my eyes when I approached my cell door. 

I burst into the room and immediately flopped on the bed. I curled up in a tight ball, pulling my limbs close to my chest, and let the tears fall down my face. 

Sobs racketed through me violently and I clutched onto my pillows. I felt empty, pessimistic, and helpless. There was nothing that could be done about my melancholy situation. I had convinced myself that I was going to lose Kylo Ren. 

I buried my face into my blankets just like I used to do on Tunstead when I cried so that no one could hear me. I was pretty sure that the walls that surrounded me were soundproof, but it felt safer to keep my true emotions concealed. 

Each sob came from deep within my gut and flung itself uncontrollably through my chest and out of my mouth. I wept for quite a while, unable to regain authority of my emotions. I didn't try to regulate my grieving actions for several minutes. Instead, I let it all go. 

Finally, when my sobbing had dissipated into mere tears occasionally falling down my face, I sat up on the bed and wiped my nose. I dragged my palms across my cheeks in order to wipe away any remaining tears and then shakily stood up. 

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes as I walked towards the door. There was something that I wanted to get done that night just so I knew that I'd be able to sleep well. 

I made my way down to the training arena. The hallways of the base were far from empty, even late at night. Stormtrooper units still stomped through and other officials briskly paced their way down the hallways. None of them paid any attention to me, which was completely fine by me. 

I rubbed my temples absentmindedly with the tips of my fingers as I walked down the hallway because of the fact that my head throbbed as a result of my crying. I could only pray that I wouldn't run into anyone that I knew; they would most likely be able to tell that I'd been weeping.

I finally reached the training arena. I walked through the doors and relief washed over me. I was so ready to burn off some pessimistic emotions with some intense lightsaber combative training and possibly some weightlifting. 

I set up the combative hologram and grabbed a fake lightsaber from the shelf against the wall. I turned on the hologram and stepped in front of it. The blue, faceless figure popped up on the ground in front of me. It immediately lashed out at me and I got entangled in a crazy, dueling dance. 

In minutes I was drenched in sweat. I constantly reached my hand to my forehead and wiped the droplets of perspiration away from my skin and onto my black clothing. I felt like I was overheating, but that was fine by me. I swung the lightsaber angrily at the hologram and repeatedly defeat it. 

"What are you doing out so late?" 

I jumped, whipped around, and trained my palms at whoever had entered the room. Upon seeing that it was Kubos, I slowly lowered my hands and relaxed.