Black Secrets & White Lies [On Hold]

Chapter 1 - The New Girl

"Don't mess it up, Rose." Said my dad, staring me straight in the eye.

"I won't." I said, confidently. I knew the drill. I wouldn't mess it up. Not this time.

"Head down, eyes open. Stick your nose out, don't get close." My dad paced up and down. A new place, new house. New people. Fresh tears. I sighed. "You hear me, Rosie? You don't attract any attention at that school, don't make too many close friends. You keep yourself to yourself, but listen out-"

"I know, Dad. I know." I said, refraining from rolling my eyes. "Eyes open, listen hard. Head down, tell lies. I've got it all memorised. We can do this one, right?"

"Sure, kid." My dad ruffled my hair "you're my daughter, you take after me." My dad gave me a toothy smile, so wide I could see his gold tooth shining at the side of his mouth "you got 'em all, you do. Stay strong, know who your enemies are."

*****

"Don't mess it up, Rose." I muttered to myself as I slammed the door of the black car shut. I glanced about me, seeing people standing in groups. Talking, laughing. Nobody had noticed the new girl yet, thank goodness. The last thing I wanted was attention. I straightened my navy blue blazer, made sure my grey skirt was a little shorter than knee length and pulled my tie down a bit. There. I wasn't too perfect, nor did I look so rebellious to attract attention. As I wandered through the crowd, looking for main reception, I took in the girls milling about. Yes, I definitely wasn't going to attract attention. I definitely didn't stand out.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked into the main office. So far, so good. You're surviving, Rosie, I thought to myself as I smiled at the receptionist. After several minutes I had a timetable complete with subjects, teachers and rooms. Only one problem. "Do you have a map I could use?" I asked, wondering if this was a silly question. I couldn't help but feel a little dizzy at the thought of trying to find my way around the school on my own.

"I'm afraid we don't have any," the receptionist said apologetically. Then her eyes brightened and said "ah, Liam." I turned around, looking behind me. I saw a boy, presumably in my own year, with dark brown hair and mischievous blue eyes than shined, dancing a little. I liked his eyes. They were happy. Welcoming. "Could you please show Rose to her first lesson? She's new today and has no idea where to go. I'm sure you could help her."

"I'm sure I could." Said Liam, looking at me smirking. My cheeks flushed pale pink and I averted my eyes, looking back to the receptionist.

"Off you go then, Rose. Liam is a nice boy, he'll help you alright. Any problems with your timetable, come and see me."

"Thank you, Miss." I gave the receptionist one last look and followed Liam out of the main office.

"So, where did you move from?" Said Liam, smiling at me.

"Oh, not too far. Just another part of Westminster." I said, not really wanting to go into details. Don't get close.

"Ah, what school did you go to?"

"I was home-schooled." I said, not exactly lying. Don't get close.

"Wow, so this must be pretty different for you then, huh?" Said Liam, holding the door to another block open for me saying "after you."

I mumbled a thanks and said "oh, no. I've been to quite a few schools around London, it's just that we tried homeschooling before putting me in a school again."

"It must be awful." Said Liam, walking a few paces ahead of me. "This is your room here." He said, nodding to a door.

"Oh, thank you." I said, hoping he'd go now. Stop talking. Don't get close.

"As I was saying. It must be awful being home-schooled, having no friends. You still have friends from your other schools? A pretty girl like you must have a boyfriend, too."

"I...I have a few." I said, looking at my watch. Thirty Seconds...

"Boyfriends?" Liam grinned at me "I didn't take you for that type of girl."

"No," I shook my head, flustered. "I meant friends." Twenty Seconds...

Liam laughed. He had a nice laugh. Don't get close. "Say, we could be friends." Ten Seconds...

"Maybe." I said. Five Seconds....

"What do you mean-" But Liam's words were swallowed up by a shrill ringing sound. Saved by the bell. Before he could say anything else, I'd slipped into my class room. Getting away from someone who was being nice. How long would it have lasted anyway? How long before they betrayed me? Liam would give up in a few days anyway, nobody wants to be friends with the new girl who's hard to talk to. Who avoids you.

Do they?

*****

I stepped into my house, banging the door shut behind me, wiping my feet on the mat and sighing. What a day. I dropped my bag and kicked off my shoes "Dad?" I called, walking down the hall. "Dad, are you home?" I wasn't sure what to expect, he might be home, he might not. Either way it didn't really matter.

That's when I caught sight of him.

My heart thudded against my chest and I swallowed, wiping my already clammy hands on my skirt. "Hello, darling." He slurred, waving the bottle in his hand.

Why did he have to get drunk already? Had things taken a turn for the worst on the first day? "Hi, Daddy." I said, meekly.

"You been a good girl, Rosie?" He stepped a little closer.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." I touched his arm gently, hoping he was in one of his better moods. Judging by what he said, he wasn't angry. But you never knew. No. You never knew with him.

Just like that he turned on me and gripped my wrist tightly, making me gasp. "What you doin', Rosie? You...you not tryin' to tell me what to do...is you?"

"No...no I-" I panicked, trying to pull away.

"Cause I aint goin' to let you tell me nothin'. You got that?" With that, he clumsily slammed me into the wall, my head snapping backwards.

"Dad!" I struggled, tears forming. Don't let it be like last time. His breath streamed down my neck, alcohol and smoke mingling into one bitter smell. I could see the veins standing out on his forehead, his bloodshot eyes too close for comfort. His hands gripped my wrists, twisting them. It hurt.

The pain.

The pain was so loud I screamed, but it didn't drown out the roaring in my ears.

No.

Then I was falling, my body slamming into the cold radiator. I slithered to the floor, clutching my head. Crying.

Tears fell hard and fast. And I shook. My hands shook. My knees were weak. My side felt as it was being ripped open, one kick after the other.

Then everything stopped. There was silence, save the rapid beating of my heart and ragged breathing. Every inch of me throbbed, ached. I heard a dull thud next to my and sighed with relief. Thank goodness he'd drunk too much already. Thank goodness he blacked out before he did me worse. 

I didn't move for several minutes, I just lay, letting the final tears crawl down my cheeks and pool on the floor. Then I eased myself carefully up and clambered up the stairs on my shaky legs, pain stabbing up through my side with every step.

My life wasn't fair. It wasn't. No question about it. Then again, people weren't fair. Nobody ever is. People can't be trusted. Nobody. Maybe I act like tough girl all the time. But that's what it is, an act. Alright, I've been in a fair share of fights. I've had pain. I've done bad things. It's my life. It always has been. But people don't understand how broken I am. How I die inside - cry at night.

I guess some of us are better at coping.

Better at hiding...at lying.

*****

A/N So, what did you think? I hope you liked it and all feedback is loved :) So I'd appreciate any comments you have so I know whether to continue or not.

Thanks for reading!