Fixing Shattered Pieces

Worries and Walks

Maya's POV

The subway is still running like always, people are still jabbering in the hallways as I walk in, everything is normal. Except that I feel completely and totally cutoff from it, like it's another dimension and all the classes and the hallways and lockers and intercom announcements are meant for everybody but me. Three days does a lot, I guess.

I haven't come to school in three days. Lucas kissed me. That is legitimately my only explanation, and it's not really one, but I don't ever plan on saying it to anyone so it doesn't have to be. Lucas kissed me, and then three days later, I'm back at school.

Everyone gets sick, sure. Everyone gets so they can't talk and they've got a fever and whatever else so their moms keep them home from school and they come back and feel a bit disoriented. But not me. I don't get sick. I can't. I can't miss school, I can't leave behind the only things that are good in my life—my friends, and a world outside of my house. I can't do it. And everyone knows it. And everyone knew it, and everyone texted me, and everyone called me, and I didn't do anything. I just sat in my room with the curtains shut and said nothing to anyone. Lucas kissed me. And for some reason, I couldn't do it anymore, at least not for a few days. I couldn't do my life.

That's probably why I feel like an exchange student walking back into school.

"Maya!"

Riley's voice is so loud and so filled with happiness that it brings an instant smile to my face; I need to smile.

"Maya, you didn't text me until this morning! I'm so glad you're back!"

I hug Riley back when she flings her arms around me, squeezing me like I literally have been in a foreign country.

"I know, Riles," I say. I bite my lip, then add, "I was just so sick, I couldn't even hardly hold my phone. You know I don't ever miss school for being sick, this one was really bad."

She gives me such a sympathetic look, I feel really guilty.

"But you're okay now," she says. "Thank goodness. We all started to feel like you hadn't been here in like a month. Come on, let's go to history."

Riley was not kidding. Everyone looks at me as I walk in, some waving and others just whispering. Farkle grins at me, and looks perfectly at ease with what I texted him about coming back today and being super sick. Mr. Matthews is shaking his head at me, but only in that sheepish way of his, not a distrustful one. Only Lucas is looking at me with utter lack of truck, lack of faith in probably anything I have to say.

"Maya, talk to me," he says, ignoring the confused look on Riley's face. "Where were you?"

I bite my lip again and shrug. "I told you where I was. I was sick."

He doesn't even answer. He just gives me this look, the scariest look. This look that says he knows. Or, even worse, he knows he doesn't know everything, and wants to know the whole story. It's the look he had about seeing Riley and me out at night, but worse. It's the look he gives me sometimes for no reason when I bring up my dad or something, but a billion times worse. It's a look that sends prickles all up my back, because he is the reason for his own questions. He's why I wasn't here. And that's the part he knows, I can tell.

The bell rings and it startles me more than it should. I avoid Lucas and go straight to the classroom, jumping into my seat. I guess I really have been gone longer than I thought, because everything feels really strange.

Mr. Matthews starts talking but like usual I tune him out, until he says something that catches my attention.

"Today you guys will be starting a new project."