Fixing Shattered Pieces

Supper and a Stolen Heart

Authors Note
Enjoy!

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Maya's POV
When I finally stop crying, I look at the clock and see that over eight and a half hours have passed.  I realise I fell asleep, which is weird because I never nap. I look down at my arms and see that the blood had started to freak me out, so I'd wrapped it up. Now my arm stares back at me, covered in an old washcloth that is almost completely stained through with blood.  I peel it away, and luckily the bleeding stopped. Cutting felt so good, but the thought of bleeding is so foreign and frightening.  I have to look away from my cuts, they're honestly too horrifying.

I was wearing a tshirt, but I pull on a hoodie so I don't have to look at my arms.  As I'm fumbling with the hood, my phone rings.  I guess it must be Riley, because I ran out of school and now it's hours later; she's probably terrified.  However, to my surprise, it's Lucas.

"Hey, Maya?" The emotion behind his voice is impossible to decipher.  But he doesn't sound angry, which is a good sign.

"Hey, Lucas," I say.  I probably should call him Huckleberry, or make a joke with him so he'll think everything is fabulous, but I just don't have the energy.

"Look, I'm sorry about today.  I must have really frustrated you for you to run out like that. I didn't mean to."
He hesitates, but I can tell he has more to say.  "My mom said you could come for dinner, if you want to.  I won't talk to you about that.  I just want to say I'm sorry I guess."

I swallow and realise just how hungry I am.  We never have much food at my house, and half the time I'm too scared to leave my room, so I just go hungry.  Lucas's offer is incredibly tempting.

"If you don't wanna come to my house for dinner, then I still want to talk, so I could go to your house," Lucas adds. 

This sends chills up my spine, and the way he says it makes me think he knows that there's some reason why I would not want him coming to my house.

I decide that it's better to go to his house than have him try to force his way into mine.  I imagine my mom's boyfriend yelling at him, and them fighting or something, and Lucas telling the police, and my world ending.  No, Lucas doesn't care about me that much.  But still, I can't let my secret get out.

"Maya?" I've left Lucas hanging there, waiting for my answer.  I've been zoning out so much lately, it's kind of ridiculous.

"I can come over," I say. "Thank you, Lucas.  If you're sorry, then I guess I forgive you."

I can hear him smile on the other end, though I can't see him.  "Great.  Just head straight over when you're ready."

When he hangs up, I glance at the rest of the messages I've received.  I have like six panicked ones from Riley and four from Farkle, but both of their last messages just say that

"Lucas is going to apologise and you're probably just tired, so text back when you're feeling better."  I text them both back, but I'm really vague.

I start to head towards the window to go out, then I snap back and remember I'm going to dinner at Lucas's house.  I have to look better.  My hair is all messy, so I brush it again until it's silly.  Then I pull off the sweatshirt and change into one of the nice jackets Shawn bought for me.  I don't want to change my tshirt or pants, because then Lucas would think I was trying hard (which I secretly am), so I just make my makeup look better until I think I look good. 

The only thing that makes me nervous is my arm.  The jacket is long sleeved, and because I'm so short the sleeves are even a bit too long.  But I can't slow the anxiety coursing through me.  What if his mom asks to take my jacket?  What if Lucas touches my arm and I flinch and he pulls up the sleeve?  What if I subconsciously pull at the sleeves or something and someone notices?  Half the things I'm thinking are stupid, but I can't shake them.