Love Me At My Worst (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Chapter 4. Write up

"Officer (Y/N) you've been written up." Hux said flatly from behind you as you walked in to your work station.

"Excuse me?" You asked incredulously and he gave you an almost apologetic look.

"A complaint was filed against you this morning. Im going to have to suspend you, (Y/N)." Your jaw dropped and you didnt even try to conceal your shock. You had never received a citation in your entire career with the First Order. What had you done wrong? Who had you made mad-

Oh.

Realization hit you like a runaway train. Your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth formed a hard line.

"It was Commander Ren, wasn't it?" Your arms crossed and you displayed what could only be described as pure bitch face. Hux sighed.

"You know I'm not at liberty to say. It doesn't matter, does it? You still have been written up by a superior." You took your suspension form and headed to your quarters. Three days without work. You sat down on your cot in frustration. Tears started to pool down your cheeks and you cried angry tears. Your thoughts drifted to Kylo Ren and you cursed him in your mind.

Screw you! You whiny force baby, I'm a good worker goddammit! I don't deserve this!

You angrily paced around your room and punched the wall. Hard.

"Ow! Shit! Son of a Nerf herder!" You grabbed your hand in pain and jumped up and down. While you nursed your sprained hand a loud knock pierced the air and your door rumbled. You cursed again and whirled the door open. Your face fell in fear as you stared at the cold deathly mask of Kylo Ren. His mask edged down as he looked at your hurt hand, then snapped back up.

"Your thoughts are loud." He stated and you gulped.

"I'm s-sorry sir." You said and shifted your weight.

"Don't lie. You aren't sorry. I can see into your mind." He warned with a growl. You looked down at the ground.

"Sir, I didn't mean to violate any First Order protocol when I spoke to you, could you please explain my mistake?" You asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"I am not to be spoken to. Nobody talks to me and I do not talk to anyone!" His voice raised and you winced a bit.

"Well, you're talking to me right now..." His mask shook in anger and you knew he was slowly getting more and more volatile.

"Just leave me alone!" He said and you cocked your head.

"Well technically you visited me this time, Commander." You pointed out and he stopped as if considering your words.

"Insolent girl." He growled as he stormed away. You let out a gust of air in relief and shut your door. You slid down the wall and stayed in a ball at the floor.

Goddammit.

*That Night*

Your nightmares were plagued with Kylo Ren. You dreamt he snuck into your room, slicing through you with his lightsaber. He'd show no mercy. No one would do anything to stop him. Kylo Ren could kill you without any repercussions and you knew it. In another dream, you were walking through the halls of the base when out of nowhere you looked down to see yourself being impaled by a lightsaber from behind you. Countless dreams like this flooded your mind that night. You tossed and turned and woke up drenched in sweat. Several times in the night you'd call out for your mother, or for Saw. Needless to say, you barely slept.

When you woke up the next morning you put minimal effort into your look. You squeezed on your uniform and tied your hair up in a bun. You knew you looked like shit, you FELT like shit.

"Whoa, (Y/N)." Saw grabbed your shoulder as you walked into your workstation. "Rough night?" She chuckled and you threw her a look that could kill.

"Shut up." You growled and turned on your section of the monitoring system. You winced in pain as your hand connected with the hard metal.

"Hey now, no need to be rude." She laughed and typed in a few coordinates.
"For real, what happened to you?" You froze.

"Oh crap, I'm suspended." You backed away from the panel. Saw's eyes widened.

"What did you get suspended for?!" She asked loudly. Saw had her fair share of suspensions in her day and knew that you had none. You groaned.

"Kylo Ren." She nodded in understanding.

"Well you did try to speak to him." She said and you tightened your fists.

"I didn't realize trying to speak to someone was a crime." You said through bared teeth. You sighed and left the control room, heading back to your quarters. You felt something eery hanging over your head... like someone was watching.