I Need You ( A Jikook angst fanficiton)

Chapter 1

-Jimin POV-

Why does it hurt so much? Love shouldn't hurt but why is my heart always hurting when I see him? When he is always smiling to the other members and always so cold to me. When he is laughing with the others and frown when I talk to him or  joke around. Does he hates me that much? Am I so disgusting and annoying?

But even tho, that he is always so mean and cold to me, I still love him. I tried to show him my love and tell him it all the time. I don't care if it's before the camera, before the members or just like this when I see him. I even think that he hates me but I'm always ignoreing the fact that he really could hate. I'm always telling myself that he has a bad day or in the interviews, that he is  doing it for the fans, so that the think of a one side love.

Maybe it is because I'm not handsome anymore. I lost my abs....the fans notice and kind of hate me now....maybe Jungkook thinks the same? I should lose weight. The fans also say that I'm really worthless and useless. I shouldn't be in BTS and I'm only slowing them down. What should I do? Should I really leave? But I love my job, I love the members, I love dancing, I love singing and I love the A.R.M.Y.s.

"Jimin? YAH JIMIN" I jump and see Jin glaring at me.

"Yes hyung?" I ask and put a fake smile on my face, like always but nobody can see that.

"Are you ok? You were zooming out, again!" He looks at me with concerned eyes.

"I'm ok like always, hyung. I'm just a little tired. I will go to sleep now. Night Hyung, see ya tomorrow!" I lie and stand up. I do feel sad, that I have to lie to my hyung but I don't want the others to know. I'm already a burden and useless, so I don't want to annoy them more then I should.

I enter my room that I share with J-hope, the hope of the groupe and lay down on my bed. I can feel a few tears sliding down my face when I think what happened today at the dance practice.

*  a few hours back *

"YAH JIMIN!!!!! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS TODAY? EVEN SUGA HYUNG GOT THE STEPS RIGHT." Rapmonster hyung screams at me after I made a mistake again, for the millions time.

"I'm really sorry, hyung. I will not do it again, I swear." I look at him and stand up since I fell down.

"You already said that!" Jungkook says angry and glares at me. I feel so hurt right now but I can't let it show, so I just give him my famous fake smile and igniore his comment. I would really like to hide in my bed and cry. I feel someone watching me and look at my left. J-Hope hyung. I give him a smile too and start to get ready.

"You are a really bad dancer! You were good when you entered but now?" I give Jungkook a smile. He doesn't mean his words. I know that. He is only angry because I got the dance wrong.

"Jungkook! Be nice, OK!" Jin says and glares at him.

"No Hyung! It's ok, he is right. I got it wrong and it's my fault, that we have to stay longer at the dance studio. I am really sorry!" I give a little bow and then give Suga an Ok for the music. All that before Jin even could say something back. I'm really scared of his words sometimes. Not in a bad way but the thing is, that I sometimes want to just talk to him about all my struggle that I have.

"Why are you all so nice to him?? He is the one that is doing it all wrong. He just says sorry and then everything is OK again? You know what? I'm out. I know the dance and I don't care if he will get it right or not. See ya at the dorm hyungs and...Jimin" Jungkooks says my name like venom and then turns around and leaves the room. I stand shocked there and really hurt but I'm still smiling.

"Jimin?" I look at Suga. He rarely talks and never with me.

"Yes, Suga hyung?" I smile.

"Jungkook is just grumpy and doesn't mean what he said, don't forget that, alright?" I look at him shocked for a moment but then smile again.

"I know hyung." I say.

"I will go too" Jin says and leaves. The others nod and leave me all alone in the room. I'm really hurt that they all left me. But they are right. They all know the dance, it's only me who gets it wrong all the time. I'm really worthless, aren't I?

*flashback ends*

Someone knocks at the door. I sit up as fast as I can and wip my face. I put my fake smile on and say: "Yes?"

The door opens and Jin enters. "I made food. Come down and eat with us, ok?"  I shake my heat. "I'm not hungry hyung. I will go directly to bed and will eat in the morning" I say. Jin looks at me concerned.

"Are you ill? You didn't eat lunch today!" That's true but I don't want to gain weight. I will have my abs back!

"I did but just an hour later." I smile and lay down under the blanket, showing Jin that I will not talk anymore.

I hear him sigh. "Jiminnie.....why are you not talking to me" he whispers and exits the room. I'm sorry hyung! This is a fight that I have to fight on my own. I don't want to burden them. I'm just worthless and useless.