More Than Just Survival ( ftwd a.u. )

Chapter 2

Alicia

I was finally free from that damned yacht. My time on the seas made me rethink my dreams of one day becoming rich enough to take a vacation on a yacht with Matt. Matt. There he went again. Seeping into my thoughts as if he weren't already living there rent-fucking-free. I couldn't help it. Every day without him passes by so slowly. It didn't help that we were in New York; the place where Matt and I had once hoped to study in. I was going to apply to Columbia and he to NYU. My mom knew about this so I guess it made sense for her to relieve me of raid-duty for the week.

The week was over though and I felt useless; cooped up in this crummy room which always remained empty. I was stuck with Elyza but she always came back from raiding late, always being the first to volunteer to head out into the chaos. Even then, she opted to sleep on the couch. I didn't know whether that was to respect my privacy seeing as I'd been in a bit of a funk these past few days or because she was that sick of me already. Whatever it was I couldn't care less. I did have a few fleeting conversations with her. It had been a week since we began cohabiting so it only made sense. I found out that she was closer to Nick and my age; with me turning 18 in two days and Nick turning 20 about a month ago, she was turning 19 in October. Smack bang in the middle. Whenever she wasn't making some flirty remark towards me or catching me staring daggers into her, she would hold meetings with our group.

The meetings came often enough, with Victor and Elyza working on locating some safe haven called 'Arkadia'. I was wary, of course. From what they'd described it was a community with clean water, food which they grew and most importantly: no infection. It seemed too perfect to be true. It sounded... Normal. Even then, I was too wrapped around my own little bubble to focus on helping them locate it. My thoughts would swarm my brain, circling over and over. Whenever I wasn't thinking of Matt, my mind would flee to the blonde who would be asleep on the couch, sketching or polishing her extensive (but impressive) arsenal. I wondered how a girl a little over a year older than me had been so prepared. It made me a little wary of her. She was so unfazed by everything that was happening. While I could barely crawl out from my slump, she was smiling, laughing and eager to head out where the infected were. She was even able to flirt with the straightest girl she could find - who might I add was still obsessing over her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Habit. I don't know what my life has come to.

Alicia closed the journal in front of her and took a deep sigh. She tucked the journal into her bag along with her pen. She hadn't made any efforts to unpack. Besides, it would only be a short while before Victor and Elyza would find Arkadia and she would be rushing to pack her belongings again. She closed her eyes, legs over the edge of the bed and her knuckles turning white as she gripped the worn mattress. She was going on the next raid. She had to. She needed to make an effort. Besides, if she was focused on not getting eaten and finding stuff to eat, there would be no room to dwell on how unfortunate and sad the situation at hand was.

She stood up decisively and made her way to the shut door, her hand grabbing the knob before stopping. She had been holed up for hours. Judging from the sun she could see from her window, it was possibly mid-day. Then again, she wasn't Bear Grylls. She only knew that because of the times her and Matt would play Minecraft. He was obsessed and she wanted to play along with him. It was geeky but she adored him for it. Matt. She took another breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

She didn't know how she could face her family like this. Still, she composed herself and shook her head clear of any thoughts and went outside to sit on the couch with Nick who happily munched on some crisps he'd found in the last raid. Part of Alicia wanted to chastise him for not sharing with the group but knew that Elyza had hit the mother-lode a few days ago and picked the lock to some abandoned warehouse which they all guessed used to be a food catering company. Now it sat with a brand new lock that only Elyza, Victor and Travis knew the code to. Even still, Elyza continued to head out with different partners, exploring the cities and digging under crevices to find small treasures. Once, during one of Alicia's breakdowns, she walked in and tossed a chocolate bar onto the bed. She was out without a smile or even acknowledging the girl. Alicia had barely lifted her head up to find a flash of blonde heading out the door.