Beating Heart (Delena Fantasy/Fanfiction)

Chapter 15: Bird set free

Selena's POV:

4th November

*
We are so angry

"I'm sorry."

Don't apologize

"But I am. Really."

We know it is not your fault

"Then who's is?"

That friend of yours

The tears rolled down my cheek. I knew it was not Gretl's fault either. We were just too visible again. Next time, we definitely should be the shy girl of the class. I didn't allow myself to make friends anymore.

Don't worry. We will always love you. We will just move again.

The sentences overlapped each other and echoed away in my head. They whispered, because they felt considerate over me at that moment. I was so tired. Tired of being so depended on the horrifying but magnificent creatures that floated around me constantly. Tired of sitting alone in the corner of a room, hearing and seeing frightening things. Tired of feeling as if I've got a skin layer too much. Feeling as if I have too many blankets on hot periods, and having no blankets in cold ones. The feeling of having too many minds for one body, one brain, one heart.

"I don't want to move! I wish the ground beneath my feet would swallow me up. I wish I could just crawl back on my mother's lap and hug her until I die."

It was quiet for a moment. A silence so quiet it was earsplitting. I wanted to fill the silence up with my cries, but no sound came out of my mouth.

Walk to the garden

My shadows softly commanded me. I looked around and confusingly stepped outside, barefoot. The dewdrops of the grass tickled my feet. The whole city was lit by the moon. I awkwardly waited for my shadows to speak again.

Please know that we are the ones that will stay by your side forever. Please know that we do not only give you hate and anxiety. Please know that we can show you beauty.

As soon as they stopped telling me the kind words, I noticed the ground underneath me lighting up. Many dots of light lifted off into the air. They were beautiful. Millions of tiny lights floated on the air around me. I moved my hand through the parades of fireflies and saw them evading from my skinny fingers. Colors of yellow, orange and pink lit up my skin and my clothes. Their peaceful movements made me feel like a water lily dancing on the water. My arms swayed through the lights as I moved my feet with them. They made me smile. I rotated like a ballerina on the wet grass while I felt my shadows watch over me. They enjoyed it, in an actual caring and loving way. They loved me, and not the energy I gave them. It was the first time in my whole life they showed me how much they truly loved me.

Demi's POV:

22nd January

I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. This surprisingly happened more often when Selena lied next to me. I looked at how her skin was grey like a dead body. It reminded me of what happened the previous day. Her dry mouth was slightly open and she audibly breathed. Her eyebrows moved to different directions in small shocks, and even her head sometimes moved with them. What was she dreaming of? She told me that the weird stuff, that happened when I find her body after an attack, are actually hallucinations. Hallucinations sent to me, reflecting from her nightmares. Did she ever dream about floating water drops, or cracking walls? If she calls those water drops nightmares, I'd love to have her nightmares every night. I imagined what she would dream of right now, now that she slept like a small child in the arms of her mother. I caressed over her soft cheek with my thumb. Did she ever dream about her family? She replaced her head, whereby I could catch her scent. She actually smelled like cinnamon and lavender, a surprisingly nice combination. Most of the time when I caught her sleeping, she smelled like death. Maybe because she then had a nightmare and now finally had a nice dream? While getting lost in my thoughts I slumbered back to sleep.