artificial light

t w e n t y - o n e

"now, name five things you can see."

"what?" i sputtered, my heart beat beginning to rise again.

"cole, just do it."

i trembled as i looked out of the moving basket.

"i see people, other rides, cars, trees and i see you."

she inched closer to me and looked me in the eyes.

"name four things you can touch."

going along with her strategy, i pulled my hand down from my chest and touched the metal.

"metal, my shirt, my leg-"

she grabbed my hand.

"-and your hand."

"name three things you can hear."

my heartbeat thumped slowly against my chest and my breathing was almost normal again.

"i hear cars, screaming and your voice."

"you're doing  great cole. now, name two things you can smell."

i hesitated but then sniffed the air.

"cotton candy and dirty socks."

she raised her eyebrows, but continued speaking.

"name one thing you can taste."

"grilled cheese from lunch," i mumbled.

i let out a breath and looked her in the eyes.

my heartbeat was back at its irregular pace and i felt safe.

she had a concerning look etched into her face, her skin wrinkling at the middle of her forehead and the side of her nose.

"how did you do that?"

"my therapist taught me a few years after the death of my parents. it's called grounding."

my insides shriveled and the mention of her parents.

"thank you," i said.

she released my hand and moved her gaze elsewhere.

"you're welcome."