The new boy.

Chapter 40

A FEW WEEKS LATER
I rubbed my eyes and sat up.
First day of the school year. Yay.
I quickly got ready before walking out into the living room.
Matt was sitting at the table on his phone, which he'd somehow managed to find.
He looked up at me.
"Hello." He said.
"Hey. Good morning." I said.
He smiled a little.
"Morning."
I got some food and ate quickly.
Then we walked out the door to catch the bus.
Matt had just turned 17 a few days ago.
I was 16, but because of the way I was homeschooled, I'd graduate at 17. I was probably the youngest senior who'd be on the bus.
We got on and sat down.
"So... How are you?" I asked Matt quietly.
He laughed softly.
"Eh... I'm fine. How are you?"
I shrugged.
"I'm good. I guess. I just don't wanna go to school."
He shook his head.
"Trust me, I don't either."
I grabbed his hand.
"One more year."
He smiled a little.
"Hey, you know what? This is better than when last year started.
It's not fun being the weirdo alone on the bus."
I laughed.
"True."
The bus stopped and Lexi got on.
She walked over and sat behind us.
"Hi guys." She said happily.
"Hey." I said.
She yawned.
"I'm tired."
The bus stopped again a minute later and Jake got on.
He walked over and sat next to her.
"I can't even keep my eyes open." He said sleepily.
I laughed softly.
"Wake up guys."
We road on in silence, that is, until Katy got on.
She ran over and sat down in front of us.
"Hi guys! How are you?" She said happily.
Matt smiled.
"We're good. You seem happy."
She laughed softly.
"Really? Do I?"
I smiled.
"It's so weird that you're talking now."
She nodded.
"I know. You know what else is weird? Brad not being on the bus. That's weird."
We all four nodded.
"Yeah. Super weird." Lexi said.
A few minutes later we got to school.
••••••••

Surprisingly most of the day went ok.
Typical school with the occasional insult from a few people.
But it wasn't terrible.
Until of course, Me and Matt missed the bus.
"Hey!" Andrew yelled from behind me.
I looked back.
Andrew and three of his friends walked up to us.
Andrew grabbed me by my arm.
"Leave me alone." I said.
He laughed and one of his friends walked over and shoved Matt.
"Fight me." He said laughing.
I shook my head.
"Don't do it."
Andrew wrapped his arm around me and put his hand over my mouth.
We were only a few feet away from the school.
I tried to yell but I couldn't.
Two of them walked over and started beating up Matt.
A couple minutes later and all three of them had him on the ground.
Then they walked over to me.
"Fight back or be a coward and leave." Andrew said.
After a minute Matt stood up.
I tried my best not to cry.
He looked at me for a minute before he slowly started to walk away.
I watched him.
He typed something in on his phone.
He talked for a minute before walking back over.
"Let go of her." He said quietly.
They all laughed.
"Why?"
"I'm warning you. And I'm not a coward I'm just not dumb enough to fight 3 guys that are tougher than me."
Andrew snickered.
"You know what Matt? You are a pathetic suicidal piece of garbage. Run home to your blades already."
Matt sighed.
"Geez, you guys should be more creative with your insults."
Andrew laughed.
"Kill yourself freak."
Matt shrugged.
"That's a little more creative. I guess. No thank you, though."
One of his friends sighed.
"How do you get along with him Julie? See you're not a bad looking girl. How'd you get this loser?"
I wanted to yell at him but my mouth was still covered.
"And I see you going home with him every day. Slut." Andrew said.
I thought I was gonna cry.
"Don't call her that. You don't know what she's been through. And I'm sure as heck not telling you. But regardless, you can't call her that. And if you do you're being a complete idiot."
One of Andrews friends groaned.
"I will supply the gun if you agree to use it so I don't see you again."
Matt bit his lip.
A few seconds later a car pulled up.
It stopped next to us.
One of the windows rolled down a little.
"Matt, get in the car." A voice said.
He walked over and got in.
A second later Brad got out.
"Guess who can walk again." He said.
He walked over.
"Ok, you've got one chance. Let her go." He said.
They laughed.
"Fight us buddy you're out numbered."
He walked up to Andrew before pulling something out of his pocket.
I heard a cracking noise and Andrew jumped.
He let me go.
"What the heck man?!"
Brad held it up.
"Taser. Now unless you want to be fried I suggest you back off."
I walked over to the car.
Andrew walked up to Brad.
"Try me." He said.
Brad laughed before punching him and then zapping him.
Andrew stumbled.
"Anybody else?" Brad asked.
They all shook their heads.
He laughed.
"Thought so. If this happens again you'll be dealing with the police instead."
They all started walking away and Brad walked over to me.
"You ok?" He asked.
I nodded.
"I'm fine."
We both opened a car door.
"Guys." Jake said.
I nodded.
"I think Matt's hurt pretty bad." He said.
I looked at him.
He looked like he was in serious pain.
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"
He shook his head.
"I'll be fine."
Brad looked over at him.
"Can you move?"
"My legs? Yes, I can move my legs." He said quickly.
Brad laughed quietly.
"No not your legs. How about you try leaning forward."
He shook his head.
"No. Thanks for the offer. But it hurts to breathe. I don't want to move."
Brad sighed.
"Alright, Jake, drive to the hospital."
Matt sighed.
"No guys, seriously, I'll be fine."
I took a deep breath.
"Yes you will be. Now shut up, we're taking you to the hospital."
He rolled his eyes.
"Fine. Quick question Brad, when your ribs got broken, how long did did they hurt?"
Brad laughed softly.
"Um... Not long... Not long at all..."
I sighed.
Matt fake cried.
I reached back and grabbed his hand.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Are you ok?"
I nodded.
"Yeah. It was just a little bit scary. And you're not a coward. Thanks for doing the smart thing,"
He shook his head with a small laugh.
"No problem. ...Why does every one want me to kill myself..?"
I bit my lip.
"What the- language. What did those guys say to you?"
He shook his head.
"It doesn't matter. I just... Never mind."
Brad looked down.
"Geez guys, I'm not gonna kill myself chill. I'm not a fragile little flower. Stop treating me like one. I made a comment, stop freaking out over everything." Matt snapped.
I looked down at my feet.
No one said anything for a minute.
"Julie." Brad said.
"Yes?" I asked.
Brad sighed.
"That wasn't him. That was way too defensive."
Matt groaned.
"Maybe it is me and I'm just not a wimp right now."
Brad looked at him.
"You're a nice guy Matt.l Not a jerk. This isn't you. You know that. We just care about you."
Matt sighed.
"I don't want to talk. Just leave me alone."
Brad shrugged and sat back in his seat.
I knew something was really wrong with Matt, because he never got defensive unless there was.
I reached back and grabbed his hand.
"I'm sorry if I did something wrong... You're my best friend in the whole world... You don't have to respond... I'm not freaking out... But I'm here, ok?" I said slowly.
He bit his lip.
"Ok." He said shakily.
His eyes were closed.
Brad looked over at Matt.
He looked angry.
He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
"Hello?" He said.
I couldn't hear the other line.
"I'm here with my friend, we're driving him to the hospital. A few guys had him and his girlfriend on the street and beat him up really bad." He said quickly.
There was a pause.
"Yeah, I know one was named Andrew, and I know his address, you can find the other guys at the school on James Street."
Another pause.
"Ok, thank you. Bye."
He hung up.
"They won't mess with you anymore." He said tensely.
None of us said anything.
We just sat in complete silence until we got to the hospital.

They took Matt into a room and we all sat in the waiting room.
Brad looked over at me.
"You know something's wrong right?" He said.
I nodded.
"Yeah. I'm scared he's gonna do something."
Brad nodded.
"I am too."
Jake sighed.
"Yeah, but I don't know what to do."
I sighed and nodded.
"I'll talk to him later... Hopefully he'll talk to me."
•••••••••••••
Matt had some internal bruising.
But luckily that was it.
Dinner was fast and then we went back into our room.
He had barely spoken since we got home.
I sighed. "
"I can sleep on the cot if you need space."
He shrugged.
"You can sleep in bed. It's fine. I don't care."
I nodded slowly and sat down.
"You wanna talk?" I asked softly.
He shrugged.
"What is there to talk about?"
I sighed.
I didn't know what to say. Great.
He sat down next to me.
"You ok?" I asked quietly.
He stayed silent for a minute before nodding.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna go take a shower. We'll talk later."
I bit my lip.
"Matt..."
He turned around.
"We can talk in a few minutes ok?"
I nodded slowly.
Not good.
He walked into the bathroom and locked the door.
I took a deep breath and went over to the dresser and grabbed a comic book.
I started flipping through it and waiting for Matt to come back; it took a long time.
After almost a while he came back, wearing a tank top and Jacket with shorts.
"Ok, I'm back. How are you?" He said.
I yawned.
"I'm ok. You?"
He shrugged.
"I'm sorry I wasn't nicer earlier... I really wasn't cool... I'm sorry." He said quietly.
I shook my head.
"It's ok, thanks. Just stop lying to me please..."
He sighed.
"I'm sorry... I'm not gonna hurt you like that. You don't deserve to have to hear the truth."
"Just tell me Matt." I said loudly.
He bit his lip.
"I'm fine ok? Don't worry about it."
"No. I am worried. Tell me right now." I said, louder than I meant to.
He just looked at me for a second.
"I can't... I just can't..." He said sadly.
I walked over to him.
"Yes you can."
He looked down.
"Please don't make me."
I bit my lip.
"Please." I whispered.
He closed his eyes tightly.
"I screwed up." He said shakily. "Please just go live with your dad... I can't put you through this any more. It's not fair to you."
I felt tears come to my eyes.
"What did you do?" I said quietly.
He took a shaky breath.
"I... I relapsed..." He said softly.
I realized I had tears streaming down my face.
He looked up at me; he was crying too.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." He said, shaking.
I just looked at him for a few seconds before hugging him.
He hesitantly hugged me back.
We just hugged and cried for a while.
"I'm so sorry." He kept whispering.
"I'm not mad." I said quietly.
He hugged me a little tighter.
"I told you I wouldn't... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking right. I had all these thoughts... I just... I'm sorry."
I stayed quiet for a minute.
"How'd you hide them...?" I asked.
He pulled away but didn't look at me.
"I'm really ashamed... It's really hard talking about this..." He said quietly.
I gently grabbed his hand.
"You don't have to be ashamed around me. You can talk to me... You're my best friend."
He hesitantly looked at me.
"I didn't cut my arms." He said shakily. "So you wouldn't know..."
I bit my lip.
"I wish you understood how loved you are." I said softly.
He took a deep breath.
"It's hard with so many people including yourself who hate you."
I sighed.
"Can I see what you did...?" I asked sadly.
"Why do you want to?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"I don't want to, I need to see how bad it is. Please."
He hesitantly nodded.
"Ok..." He said shakily.
He slowly pulled his shirt off.
He had small red cuts all over his stomach.
His eyes were teary.
"I'm sorry."
I walked closer to him and hugged him.
He hugged me back before pulling away just enough so that he could see me.
We looked at each other for a minute.
"Best friends forever, remember?" I said softly.
He took a deep breath.
"Yeah..."
We both just stood there in silence for a minute.
"I shouldn't have done this... I hate myself so much. Why do I keep doing this..." He said slowly.
I didn't say anything.
"Please just go live with your dad. I'm ruining your life. Please..."
I bit my lip.
"I'm not leaving you."

MATT'S POV
I just stared at her.
I didn't even know what to say.
I knew what this felt like, there was no way I was going to let her feel this way. And if she stayed around me long enough, I'd ruin her.
These were my problems.
Not hers.
I was crazy... I couldn't be happy... I couldn't stop... She shouldn't have to be around that.
That was the fact.
She had to leave.
I sighed.
"Julie... Your dad's here now. He'll take care of you. You don't need to be here anymore."
Her eyes were watering.
"I mean... You can stay tonight. But tomorrow... I think you should leave." I said.
At least I was good at hiding how I was feeling now.
"No." She said quietly.
"It's my house. Yes." I said, loudly.
I was being a jerk. I didn't like it.
She bit her lip.
"Fine." She said.
And then she walked out of the room.
I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
I just say down for a minute and scratched my forehead.
I had so many thoughts going through my head.

'You're such a screw up...'
'She hates you... She should.'
'Go cut again loser..'

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath before walking into the bathroom.
I just looked in the mirror for a minute.
I don't think I'd ever felt more hate than I did right then; and it was all toward me.
I grabbed the last few blades I had.
I sighed.
"I deserve to hurt... But it's not about me." I said quietly.
I quickly dropped the blades in the trash and took a deep breath.

I slowly walked out of the room.
Olivia was sitting in the living room on the computer skyping someone.
"You seen Julie?" I asked softly.
She looked up at me.
"You ok?" She asked.
I sighed.
"Don't worry about it."
She looked at me for a second before looking back at the computer.
"Can we talk later? I got to go... Ok... Bye."
She shut the computer.
"Ok, what's wrong Matt? Come sit."
I came and sat down next to her.
"I'm fine." I said quietly.
She stayed silent for a second.
"Do you self harm...?" She said quietly.
I didn't say anything for a few seconds.
"Uh... I don't know what to say."
She shook her head.
"I won't tell. I'm not gonna get mad. You can trust me."
I bit my lip.
"I'm trying really hard to stop." I said.
She hugged me.
"You can do it... You're strong. We both know it."
I sighed.
"I'm pathetic... I just... I make everyone's lives harder."
She looked at me with wide eyes.
"Are you serious? Matt... I'm growing up without a Dad. You're my big brother, you're the closest thing I have. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."
I bit my lip before hugging her.
"I love you too... I didn't know I meant that much to you..." I said quietly.
She nodded.
"You do. And you've gotta know how thankful mom is to have you. She loves you more than you could imagine. She just... Thinks that it's her fault that you tried to... You know. She blames herself."
I was trying my best not to cry.
Not even sad tears.
But not happy tears.
I wasn't sure what it was.
I didn't say anything.
I didn't know what to say.
Olivia smiled sadly at me.
"Julie walked outside. Go talk to her." She said.
I sighed before slowly nodding and standing up.
I walked over to the front door before stepping out on the front patio and shutting the door behind me.
"Who is it?" Julie asked.
"It's me."
She didn't respond.
"I'm sorry." I said. "For everything."
She took a deep breath.
"I forgive you." She said softly.
I walked over and sat down next to her.
"I'll leave if you want me to. Ok? You're right, my dad's back. You don't have to be stuck with me anymore." She said.
I shook my head.
"No, it's not like that. You don't have to leave... I'm sorry, I just... I don't want... I feel like I'm going to ruin you... I feel like you're gonna get depressed like me... And I don't want you to hurt like that."
She sighed.
"Don't worry about me... I'm fine. But you need to stop Matt... I'm gonna be straightforward. You have to stop. You can't keep doing this, it's not helping, there's no reason it would."
I nodded.
"I understand, I wasn't thinking clearly. I threw everything away. I'm done. I promise."
She nodded slowly.
"Ok. Let's not fight. It's not fun."
I nodded again.
"You're right."
She walked over and hugged me.
"I trust you Matt."
I bit my lip.
"Thanks... I love you."
She kissed my cheek.
"I love you too."
•••

CHAPTER 40 GEEZ
LOVE YOU GUYS
BYEEE.