Therapy; Malum/Cashton

five

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. ~William Shakespeare 

Calum's POV

Michael dragged me out to the market, if I had it my way I would still be laying in bed. Alas, I very rarely had it my when it came to staying home. Michael was walking around the bookstore, he insisted that we went in here. After all, he said I might like something I find in here.

I was walking around, letting my finger slide across the spines of all the books when I heard a chuckle. "Hello Calum." I turned my head to see Ashton standing in front of me. I took in a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Funny meeting you here, do you like reading?"

"No."

Ashton tilted his head to the side. "You realize this is a bookstore, right?"

"I'm well aware." I sighed. "Michael has me read a lot, he's somewhere around here."

"Hm.." Ashton pursed his lips together. "I thought you and Michael didn't spend a lot of time together?"

"We don't, he just so happened to drag me along with him today, decided to make it a little more.. I don't know, interesting?" I shrugged my shoulders.

Ashton gave a small smile. "Well, you have fun with that." When he said this, Michael walked around the corner.

"Found you - oh, hi Ashton." Michael flashed a smile towards the therapist. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Well, I'm here." He smiled. "How's your day Michael?"

"Good, what about yours?" Michael asked.

"Well all the better now that I've run into you two." Ashton laughed lightly, something about him was sickening in the sense that he was so upbeat, he laughed freely and I don't know the last time I.. Even gave a meaningful smile. Michael was always quite upbeat with me, but it was always fake. Maybe he should consider seeing Ashton too.

"How do you manage to stay so upbeat all the time? It's repulsive." I scoffed. Ashton and Michael each went wide eyed and turned to me.

"Calum, that's rude." Michael sighed.

"It's fine," Ashton said. "He might as well say it." He cocked an eyebrow and gave a sly grin. "You'll find it out eventually, Calum." I rolled my eyes, I had a feeling that he was telling me that eventually I would get to be happy. But there was something sinister in his eyes, I tried to ignore it, but it was deep inside of him.

"Have a good day, gentlemen." Ashton smiled and walked away from us, Michael shot me a glare the moment he was out of eyesight.

"Why do you think it's okay to just complain about other people being happy?" Michael huffed.

"It's not normal to be as happy as he is." I snapped back at Michael. We never really argued, but I had a feeling it would start in the middle of a bookstore.

At least, that's what I thought, instead Michael took a deep breath and gave a smile. "Come on, let's get out of here." There was an irritation in his face but he tried to mask it as best he could. I let out a sigh, knowing that Michael never ever trusted me with how he felt. He felt like it was better to hide everything than to come clean and admit that there was something wrong with him. Or, more importantly, that there was something wrong with me.

Michael took me home after we hit the grocery store and retreated into the kitchen so he could be alone, I suppose. I sat down on the couch and let out a sigh as my head fell back so I could see the ceiling. I took a deep breath and released it slowly.

Michael walked in and sat next to me, he had a grim look on his face. "What are we doing Cal?"

"Nothing."

"I don't feel like you're improving at all." Michael sighed. "Are you even trying, at this point?" 

I did not really want to lie and say yes, but I was not entirely sure if I was not trying either. "I showed up to that group therapy thing." 

"What else have you done? Why don't you get out of the house when I'm not here?" Michael huffed. "Calum, I have two jobs, I work doubles, just for you! But it feels like you don't want to contribute anything back." 

I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "There's only so much I can do." 

"You can at least act like you still care about me." Michael muttered. "At least, make an effort so I can see that I'm still wanted somewhere." 

I looked Michael up and down and nodded my head. I saw where he was coming from, he wanted to feel loved, despite the cost.  I bit down on my lip, I still cared about Michael, despite what he may think. 

I leaned my head onto my his shoulder and looked upward at him, his eyes looked over to me and he let out a sigh. "Things used to be so much better for us." 

"It'll be okay," I mumbled as I kissed his collarbone. "It can always get better from here." 

Or worse. But I was not about to say that to Michael. Michael was always so hopeful about things, he would always look back on how the past was better or different, but he was very optimistic; something I struggled to be. 

I wanted to be good for him, but there was always a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was so much better without me, and how do you sit on that kind of guilt?

He looked so much worse than I ever could. Always tired, always a grim look on his face, and yet, he kept going. I always wondered about being as good a person as he was, but then again, he deserved better. 

Better than a low-life just like me. 

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION; Ariana

This kind of sucked, it's pretty slow right now but it'll pick up soon. 

This book will probably also be about ten to fifteen chapters, so a bit of  a shorter book, I don't know if I'll do epilogues or nah. 

I also didn't think I would actually finish this but I'm really happy that I did.

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX