A Long Way Away

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Silence, in a room full of noise, all I hear is silence, in a room full of people, all I see is the blank colour of the wall as I stare at it, trying to escape the tears. "Lisa, Lisa" my social worker called to me. "This is Tim and Julie, there your new adoptive parents" she said softly smiling. My face remained blank; I felt no emotion, I just nodded, and faked the littlest of smiles, as I looked at them. All they reminded me of was everything I'd lost. It's been 3 months, 3 months since everything changed, 3 months of feeling nothing. I'd been staying with Linda, Nikki and Mariah. I'd spend two weeks at Mariah's, then 2 weeks at Nikki's, then 2 weeks at Linda's, and then the whole cycle would start again. They all tried to make me feel better, but I felt nothing, no happiness, no sadness, nothing but lost. I hadn't spoken with the boys at all, because they reminded me of when this all started and when it all ended, with them. Jai has been trying to call me but I never picked up, I'm not the same person I was with him, he needs to understand that. Everyone else is still together, Linda's still with Luke, Nikki's still with Beau, Mariah's still with Daniel and Ebony's still with James. The day after they died, a social worker came to me and told me that they were going to find me the best family, they could. I knew they would find me a good family, but it would be nothing like the one I had. In a week I return to school. I don't want to but my social worker told me, if I want to graduate I have to.

"Hi Lisa, I know this is hard for you and I know we'll never compare to your real parents but we're going to do everything to try and help you heal." Julie said honestly. I looked at her and smiled, for real this time, because I actually felt something for the first time in months, hope, hope that someday I'll feel normal again, hope that someday I'll wake up not crying, hope that I'll be happy again, but that day looks lost in the mist of time.

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