What if?- A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 26

What if?

What if he loves me? What if he loves me not? What if the petals I pull off this daisy represent my sanity, slowly and painfully being plucked from the roots? What if I've lost my chance? I know I have.. I just don't understand... Why I got him on my mind? What if it really is over, its been months after all? What if the winter snow beginning to roll in is about to completely cover everything between us? What if this Christmas I won't share a kiss with him? What if this is it?

What if? What if? What if.....

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I walk in through the door, the bell rings softly. I look around, looking for him. I don't see him anywhere. I feel my hands shake by my sides, I haven't seen him in months. I think the shaking is a sum of both the nerves and the sharp cold air outside. Sophie sits in the buggy, wearing a big fluffy coat and mittens to keep warm. She is quite content, sucking on her pacifier. Her cheeks are bright red from the cold along with her nose. I go up to the counter and order a coffee and a muffin from Lynn. I then sit down. When she comes over with the tray I thank her and sip my coffee. I break off small pieces of the muffin and place them in Sophie's mouth. She enjoys it and soon holds out her hands for more. So together we pick at the muffin, me feeding her small pieces every few seconds until it's gone. She then plays with her teddy in the buggy whilst I sip at my coffee.

"Can I sit?"

I look up. Gracie is standing above me, a cup of tea in her hand. I nod. She sits across from me. Sophie watches her carefully. Gracie waves and Sophie gives a small shy wave back. I smile at Sophie. Gracie looks at me and says

"I heard what happened"

My smile fades. I look at her and ask quietly

"Really?"

She nods and takes a gulp of her drink before continuing

"Peeta tells me a lot... I do the same with him"

I feel a solid lump form in my throat. I ask awkwardly

"Are ye um.... together?"

I feel my cheeks burn. She looks at me surprised but within a second is laughing and says

"No no! I'm his cousin"

His cousin. It makes sense now. But at the same time it doesn't. I never knew he had family left... I nod and ask her

"How's he doing?"

She replies

"Honestly... not good. He has cut down his work shift by four days instead of six. He says he needs time to figure himself out"

I nod again and sip my coffee. She continues

"I know for one thing though and that's that he will move past this... I know you apologized and stuff, he told me.... It's all that's been on his mind. He just wants to know where you two are going if you can get past this obstacle"

I nod. After a minute I laugh and say

"This is like having a therapist"

She laughs too and then says

"I'm not kidding though. He loves you. He can't go a day without mentioning you. I don't think he can live without you. I think you both need to just pull your act together and decide where your going... no offence!"

I laugh again. I thank her and give her a quick hug before I leave with Sophie.

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I sit before the fire, a notebook and pen in hand, Sophie upstairs peacefully sleeping. What do I think of Peeta Mellark. I decided to this after the entire evening Gracie's words

Decide where you're going

Kept repeating in my head over and over. I want to express my feelings but not in a way that they are being forced out. But after an hour and five burnt sheets in the fire I decide to just start simple. What do I like about him.

Him.

His bright smile, the one that is the beautiful moon, shining during the darkest times.

His eyes, that sparkle like a million stars.

His voice, the one so soft, the one that makes me be honest to him, the earth.

His laugh, the planets of my happiness.

His warmth, the sun that keeps me alive, keeps me sane.

His existence, his orbit, that keeps me steady.

Him..... My solar system.

I don't need more, but I continue to write....

Peeta Mellark,

He has the most adorable eyes you could fall for and the cutest smile that takes your breath away. He has the ability to make you laugh every time he speaks and whenever you look into his eyes it's so hard to turn away. He has such a warm glow you can't help but feel a vibe of happiness in his presence. And he has the biggest heart you could look for in a person, he cares for every human being more than himself. Everyday I see him I can't help but fall in love with him all over again......

I stop writing, I drop the pen and stare at what I just wrote. Then I realise it. For the first time I am overwhelmed by something I've never felt before, something amazing....
I love him

I love Peeta Mellark

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Hey guys! Please leave a comment on what you thought of this chapter and please vote I really appreciate it! I loved writing this chapter it was great! Will update soon! Love all of you!
Em is out✌🏻️!