Bermuda Triangle

How Can You Look At Me

"I want you to wear that dress I bought you the other night and I'll wear that jean jacket that just makes you go insane and I'll meet you downtown Paris in that place I can't quite describe.. " she sang the last verse so softly and my heart broke for her.

"I can't believe we still remember that song... Shay and Dan sang it like forever ago."

"Dan always used to sing it for me or hum it or play it on trunks of trees or whatever he always came up with something... He was a true out of the box thinker."

"That he was."

She went back to smelling the cigar and I sat with my back up against the rocks that sat behind us. "You really scared me..."

"I'm sorry."

"It was not a nice joke to play."

"I wasn't joking... How crazy will I be if I told you that I have been seeing Dan and Ellfie?"

"Real crazy.. They have been dead for forever now."

"I know they have but I keep seeing them... They just don't go away... They talk in my ear, they show me things I don't want to see over and over and over again like I don't see it enough when I try to fall asleep."

"That's not crazy Hunter that's grief."

"What do you mean?"

"It's grief. I thought I saw Dan million of times for days after he had died. I imagined him sitting next to me talking me through the process it helped at first till it only made things worse... It's grief. Sometimes you just got to shut some of it out to live normally."

"How do you do that?"

"By telling them to go away and sleeping lots and lots of sleeping... Which you mister need to get more of... You're always awake.. I swear I'm going to hit you across the head with something if you don't take a sixty day nap."

"I get sleep."

"Barely."

"But I still get some."

"Not enough to live off of. Now I will hit you."

"Jeez violent much." I said as I cuddled up next to her leaning my head against the side of her stomach. As she ran her fingers through my hair she was extra careful not to touch the side of my face. I breathed in trying hard not to think about the burn... Trying not to ask her a bunch of why questions.. I just wanted little bit of sleep. But that was never going to happen. "Vega!" she jumped a bit and I tried smiling but it didn't work.

"What?"

"How can you stand to look at me?"

"What do you mean?"

"How can you stand to look at me with this?" I pointed to the side of my face and she gave me a face.

"There is nothing wrong with your face. You're still just plain ole Hunter."

"I can barely look at myself..." I mumbled.

"You just have to get use to it... You are perfect in my book. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look."

"You still didn't answer my question... How can you just look at me?"

"I can see the real you... Besides I have seen worst."

"What do you mean?"

"My grandfather was in the war and he got burnt pretty badly. He lost a leg and an arm... You are not nearly as bad looking as he was... Why don't you catch some sleep. Ok?"