Number Eighteen

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“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are... Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

 

Number Eighteen

There was a boy waiting for her behind the curtains. The screams and cries around her faded into nothingness. The harsh glare of lights softened, dimmed, so that all she could see was a mass of cheering people, faces blending from one to the other.

She glanced to the sides, looking for the boy. No one was familiar. The dark eyes she loved, the calm face she adored – he wasn’t there. Her chest tightened. Panic. Hurt. Could he have left?

Instead, another boy opened his arms to meet her as soon as she went offstage. A boy with two silver piercings. His eyes weren’t dark, and his face showed an expression that was anything but calm.

Who?

Her stomach clenched as a slow grin formed on her lips. He opened his mouth and said something. In response, happiness bubbled inside her, an eruption of sorts. The rush of adrenaline made her giddy. Lightheaded. Mad. She tackled the boy with silver piercings, wrapping her legs around him as her laughter filled the place.

What did he say?

When was the last time she laughed like this? Without a care in the world? From the bottom of her heart? When was the last time she saw everything in vivid colors? When?

She opened her eyes, breathing hard, as she clutched her hands against the ache forming deep within her chest.

When?

“Dee? What’s wrong?”

The world around her was a mixture of black and gray, a sad contrast to her dream. She caught a glimpse of Arashi’s worried face. His arms were around her, and for the first time since she could remember, she felt so utterly cold and alone. There was no comfort, no assurance, even though his presence had been her source of strength for so long.

What changed?

“I – I’m not sure,” she stammered, closing her eyes in order to reminisce the blurred images. She knew she had seen a face… “I think it’s a nightmare,” she lied. She opened her eyes again, warily looking around. It was dark, and she couldn’t see well. “Where are we?”

“We’re in a private jet. On the way to the headquarters.”

The cab. Their shared breakfast. The trip to the airport. She recalled them now. He was bringing her to the main quarters of Creed, where her father is currently stationed. He didn’t know yet that she was alive. Arashi told her that he was going to sneak her in without alerting the agents.

Her breathing had turned ragged. Was it nervousness… or excitement? “How long are we from it?”

“Two hours. Four at most.”

She tucked her chin closer to her chest and brought her legs up so that she’s curled like a ball on her seat. Her heart was still hammering inside her chest.  Her thoughts whirled as she recalled the dream, the people she’d met, all their words, their expressions. The secrets, the lies, the deception… and the truth.

Time was short on her side. She didn’t want to lead him on, to continue pretending that nothing was wrong between them. She’s fed up of being constantly tossed about. She had to do this now, or else she might never get the chance again.

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