Misguided (lgbt-stories)

Stone Cold (Delena)

If happy is her I'm happy for you.

Tears ran down my face the lyrics breaking my heart more than I thought to be possible. Both of them sat in the room filled with others, filled with people who don't have a clue. The person I claim to love stands knowing all to well that he is not the one my heart belongs to. I finish off strong even through the tears and say thank you before leaving the stage. I knew that would be hard but I had to do it.

As I got backstage I felt arms wrap around me they were not the ones I needed. He does his best but nothing compares to her.

He walked me back to my dressing room tears still streaming down my face. He picked me up and sat down with me in his arms and just let me sob. I do love him but not the way I love her.

There was a knock on the door and I knew I had to stop crying it was time to go back and join the sea of other artist who also are performing. I stood up and cleaned up my face quickly. I looked in the mirror and smiled 'fake it till you make it Demi just fake it'. I yelled to myself in my head I have got to hide behind happy. Wilmer took me into his side and walked us to our seats. I kept up the act especially when I knew the cameras scanned past my row.

Taylor Swift walked out on stage and it took all I had to stay composed. She sang and every word that left her mouth broke me down. I stood up quickly and rushed towards a bathroom I could feel the tears trying to escape and fought them. I ran into the bathroom not caring after I made it into the first stall. I slid down the door not even bothering to lock it. I collapsed to the floor in sobs. I can't look at her she is the reason my heart is broke. She took her away from me she is her happy not me. I cried harder and harder I gasped for air fuck I'm having an anxiety attack. I breathed harder shit I'm making it worse!
I covered my ears as the voices swirled in my mind.
'You don't compare to her, that's why she left you, why would she want you when she could have someone more famous who is prettier and skinner and taller why would she want you?'

I screamed out "please shut up please!" I was in full panic mode I was lost in my own world and loosing it. I cried harder curling up into a ball giving up.

I felt familiar arms wrap around me they pulled me off the ground and held me close I sobbed harder I must be really lost to be imagining her holding me on the bathroom floor at the fucking I heart music awards.

I looked up and she looked down at me tears running silently down her cheeks. I backed away from her this was not my imagination she was here she was holding me she was crying. She grabbed me and pulled me back in "breathe baby breathe with me". I didn't realize I had stopped breathing all together loosing it. I tried to follow her breathing but it was so hard part of me just wanted to give up because even if this moment is real it will end and she will leave me again. I felt her lips on my cheek "please calm down Dem I love you please". I clung to her and whispered as my breathing slowly steadied "Sel?" I felt out of it my head was spinning and pounding reality was something I couldn't comprehend. I felt weak and closed my eyes. She said something but it faded into sounds I couldn't understand. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't. This has only ever happened once before. It was the day we decided to talk about us we had kissed and she wanted to know what that meant I thought I was going to loose my best friend and panicked. I know it scared the shit out of Selena she called 911 and everything I woke up in a hospital with her cuddling me last time. I doubt that will be the case this time.

I wasn't sure what reality was with memories playing in front of me. I must be passed out or something. I am not sure but I hear her singing to me. I opened my eyes only to blink them closed. She was crying silently as she stared at me singing. I was in her bed she was laying with me. I opened my eyes again and stared at her for a second trying to see if it was real or if my mind was messing with me. I reached out to wipe her tears away but she grabbed my hand. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes and I felt weak. She pulled me into her "Demi I can't take this". I scooted away assuming she meant me laying so close. I looked at her unsure of myself. She sat up "I miss you I miss us my happy isn't her it's you I love you Dem always have since that first day and I will tell the end of time." I felt my eyes water and looked away if this isn't real I am done I can't take anymore of this. I looked back up at her "tell me this is real". She leaned in closer and pressed her lips to mine "this is real". I hugged her tight like letting go would make me loose her. She held me and rubbed my back "Dem? You okay?" I sniffled "Sel I love you promise to never let go?" I felt her nod against me "I couldn't let you go for anything". I relaxed a bit in her arms and she held me tighter "how did we get so off track baby?" I looked up at her "I have no clue I guess mostly me being jealous probably started and fueled our fire". She put her finger to my lips "shh Dem". She removed her finger from my lips and slowly pressed hers to mine showing me she didn't blame me for our separation that was indeed my fault I got crazy jealous I was the one who said no more it was all my fault and she knows it yet here she is loving me. How could I have ever thought she would cheat on me with Taylor? I sighed as she pulled away "Sel I was such an idiot don't let me ever be so stupid again I love you". She smiled "I love you too Dems".

Hey beautiful readers love you all so so much let me know if there is anything you guys want a short story about and I just might do it!

Xoxo DeschaVato