Fear

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IM BACK!!!!!!!!

"Fear"
Fear. What is fear? Is it the fear of clowns? Coulrophobia. The fear of enclosed spaces? Claustrophobia. Or in my case, bathophobia, the extreme irrational fear of depth or falling.

As a child, I would pretend that I was one of the boys. I would climb the biggest tree that I could find and prove that I was no girly girl. One afternoon, I was dared to climb a seventy-foot tree that stood in the woods in our backyard. After reaching about forty feet, I took one wrong step and I fell straight to the bottom. I remember seeing the sky and thinking how blue it was before I blacked out.

The fear of falling controlled my life. I would dream that I would be climbing a tree and then I would instantly fall. But before I would hit the ground, I would always wake up. I woke up in cold sweats and in a state of panic. Was there something wrong with me? I read books upon books on the subject of fears. One book explained that if you are falling in your sleep and you hit the ground that it symbolized your death.

One night when I went to sleep, I started to have the dream again. I am climbing the same tree and I got to that branch, the branch that controlled all of my irrational thoughts, and the one that controlled my life. Like all the other times, I instantly started to fall. I saw the ground getting closer and closer and I was not stopping.

Then it happened. My body slammed into the ground like a broken toy. Everything turned black and I heard the sounds of crying and screaming. I opened my eyes and I saw my body lying there. My body twisted in a knot and my eyes opened. Opened to see the bluest sky that I have ever seen.

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