Arrest Me

Part 2

Scene:  A residential area, in the alley behind a suburban apartment building, later that day.  A cornered suspect stands with arms raised.

Wry:  (Holding gun, slightly out of breath.)  All right, hands in front of you, up against the wall.  Feet back, farther apart.

Earnest:  (Moves in to frisk suspect.)  Why do I get the feeling he’s heard this before?

Wry:  You picked up on that, did you?  Okay, friend, what’s your name?

(Suspect remains silent.  Frisk completed, Earnest cuffs the suspect’s hands behind his back and turns him to face the officers.)

Wry:  You didn’t like that question?  Okay, how about this one:  why did you run?

Suspect:  You were chasing me.  Someone chases me, I run.

Wry:  (Looks bemusedly at Earnest.)  I think somebody’s confused.  I didn’t know it was possible to chase someone who wasn’t already running.

Earnest:  (To suspect.)  You’re oh-for-two so far, pal, but let’s try again.  What’s your name?  You got any identification on you?

(Suspect remains silent.)

Wry:  (Sounding resigned.)  Okay then, we’ll do it the hard way.  You’re under arrest—

Suspect:  For what?

Wry:  (Takes mock offense.)  Well, if you’ll give me a chance to finish....  You know why we originally pulled you over?

(Suspect remains silent.)

Earnest:  It was because the car you were driving has a busted tail-light.  That’s all.  A lot of times, that only results in a warning.

Wry:  But what did you do?  You got out of the car without us telling you to, which was your first mistake.  The rule of thumb is, when you’re pulled over by the police, you do exactly what they tell you to do, and don’t do anything they don’t tell you to do.

Earnest:  Your second mistake was that you ran.

Wry:  And that was the big mistake.  You make me run, you get arrested—end of story.

Earnest:  (Leads suspect away.)  Come on, genius.  You have the right to remain silent....

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He set the ice cream sundae on the table in front of her, and slid into the opposite seat with his double-scoop cone.

“Thanks,” she said.  After pushing her short blond hair behind her ear, she stuck her spoon into the sundae. “You know, it’s probably been ten years since I played miniature golf.”

“Really?  Those two holes-in-one you scored would lead me to believe otherwise.”

She smiled.  “Beginner’s luck.  You’re forgetting the holes I scored ‘five’ on.”

“Not to mention the one where you hit the ball clear into the next green.  Although to be fair, it did make it past the dragon and almost went in the cup on that hole.”

“Hey,” she protested with a laugh, again pushing back the errant strand of golden hair, “a gentleman doesn’t point out a woman’s goof-ups.”