Blurred Lines | ✓ [1st Edition]

13 | Creep

"But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here."

It had to have been midnight by now. I couldn't sleep at all, tossing and turning on the comfortable king-sized bed in the darkness.

My probably bloodshot eyes searched for the phone I placed on the bedside table, and I was blinded temporarily by the bright LED screen.

1:09

I groaned, sitting upright. I had long abandoned the magnificent kimono, and it lay on the floor somewhere in the room. I had undressed quickly and dove headfirst into my bed the second I locked the door behind me.

After the dinner, I sat quietly in the corner as the old friends conversed and joked around. It was pretty awkward, to say the least. Every time I tried to join in the conversation, I was quickly cut off by Siobhan. I didn't understand the hostility. Was she jealous? Why should she be?

She was absolutely beautiful and interesting and badass. She was special. I was just...bitchy. Disliked.

You look beautiful.

It was never you are beautiful. Always just look. I know it shouldn't have bothered me much, because it wasn't like I was even deserving to be called beautiful inside.

I may look beautiful, that much is true, but I know for a fact that I wasn't the same inside. Inside was empty, dark and depressing.

It was really sad how this is the case for majority of the girls and boys alike in Meilleur. We lived in a world where girls found joy in the depths of their collar bones and fulfilment in shopping bags, where boys found satisfaction in the cars they buy and the clothes they wear. We lived in a world so materialistic and dehumanised. It was scary sometimes, to realise this. To know that I was just an empty shell.

I think that is the reason why I was so drawn to Alex, and eventually Yuko and his friends. Despite the standard set by everyone in a world of glitz and glamour, they managed to cast away these expectations and create their own. There was a kind of warmth in all of their eyes that was never there before Alex arrived in Meilleur.

She was pretty much their salvation. I wondered if I had that kind of warmth I my own eyes when she was around too, even just for awhile. That would've been nice.

My mind wandered again, and again Yuko's voice rang in my head.

You look beautiful.

I blinked, my lips curving into a traitorous smile. With a sinking realisation, I decided that maybe just looking beautiful in Yuko's eyes was enough for me.

My small smile fell, and I frowned slightly. No, I shouldn't be thinking about him. He was someone I was supposed to hate.

But if you do hate him, why are you here? In his house in Japan?

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. Yuko Hideyoshi was confusing. It was strange, because he always observed and analysed. He had me figured out with a snap of his fingers. But yet, I couldn't figure him out at all. I was completely clueless.

I just thought you should know.

Know what? That I looked beautiful? Or that he thought I looked beautiful?