One Night Could Change Everything

Chapter 28

Guilt. Sometimes it totally sneaks up and knocks the breath out of you. It's so easy to push away when you're doing something you shouldn't be. Like, I'll worry about it later. Well...It's later now. I'm curled up on my bedroom floor staring out the window like a zombie feeling so unbelievably guilty it hurts.

It's the night before I have to go back to school and out of nowhere the guilt just took over. I could rationalize it as much as I wanted, but in a way, I had still cheated on Scott, with Nathan, again. Sigh. Yes, I had asked for us to go on a break. But we didn't make rules for the break, like no seeing anyone else. Why didn't we make rules?? I could have really used some. I've been trying to figure out how to tackle each problem I had.

Scott. Nathan. Alyssa. Alyssa is still probably upset and angry, but not with me luckily. Just Nathan. Oh Nathan. He hadn't called me since New Years Eve. Actually, he called me the next day but I told him I needed time and space. He agreed. I had pushed everything off until school and now it's starts tomorrow. You know how sometimes when you don't have school for awhile and start to miss it? This is not one of those times.

"Um, Chloe?" I look up and see Benji staring down at me. "Yeah?" I mumbled. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Thinking." "About?" "Life." "Oh." He looked totally confused. I didn't blame him. Benji hasn't had lots of experience with drama and teen problems. He's still in middle school, plus he avoids that kind of stuff at all costs. "Okay, so you're thinking about life, why are you doing it on the floor then?" He asked. I pursed my lips.

I don't really remember how I had gotten onto the floor. Weird. I shrugged. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked kindly. God bless Benji, total sweetheart. "I don't know Ben, it's pretty complicated..." I muttered. He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet. "Complicated, huh? Well that usually means it's going to be an entertaining story, so spill it." he said and sat on my bed. "Promise not to tell anyone, mom and Terri included?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded. "Alright." I took a deep breath and told Benji everything. About the first night I met Nathan, about how I got jealous when he started going out with Alyssa, how I ruined her plans, and how I had another encounter with him a couple days ago. There wasn't too much that I left out. And when I was finished talking I felt so much better. It's nice to just unload all your problems. Easier to work them out. "And now I have to figure out what to do tomorrow." I finished.

Benji was just staring at me. "I know, I'm a terrible person." I said. He shook his head. "You're not a terrible person Chloe, you just made a few mistakes." He said. "Yeah, a few." I scoffed. "Okay, so you love Scott right?" he asked. I nodded automatically. "But now you love Nathan too?" I bit my lip and nodded again. "And if Alyssa finds out what happened she's going to kill you, right?" I closed my eyes and nodded once more. To my surprise Benji laughed.

"This is some really messed up stuff Chloe, high school must suck." he laughed. "More than you know buddy, don't worry though, you'll figure that out soon enough." I said and flopped down on the bed next to him. "Do you have any idea of what you're going to do?" he asked. "Nope, not really." "Hmm...Alyssa doesn't know about you and Nathan though, does she?" "No, I've been careful not to say anything about him to her." I said.

"Well that takes care of her, she won't be mad at you just the dude." he said. "Yeah, but I'm going to have to listen to her go on and on about him, and she'll probably tell me not to talk to Nathan any more, which, I cant do." I said. "Because you love him." "Yes." "I think, if she asks you to stop talking to him, you tell her that if she's really your friend she won't make you give up another friendship for her." Benji suggested. I stared at him.

"That's a really good idea Ben, how did you come up with it?" I asked. "I don't know, I think it was one Oprah one day while mom was watching." he said with a shrug. I laughed. "So, have any advice on what to do about the guys?" I asked hopefully. "That one is up to you, you're the one who loves them, you should be the one to pick." he said. "It's not that simple." I said.

"Yes it is actually, think of which one makes you the happiest, the one you can't live without or whatever." he said. "See that's the problem, I haven't had the chance to evaluate each of them to make a good rational choice." I said. "Well do it then, I think you should date them both, see which one you like, or love better." he said. I had thought of dating both guys, but I got the feeling neither of them would go for it, so I dismissed the idea.

"I can't do that Ben, it's not fair to them." Neither of us spoke for awhile until mom yelled for us to come down for dinner. "Just a minute mom!" Benji called back. "You coming?" he asked and stood. "No, I'm not hungry." I replied. I appraised me for a long moment. "Listen Chloe, I know things suck right now for you, but that's life, you gotta move on and get over it." he said.

Benji Reid, Mr. Wise beyond his years. "Yeah, I know." I mumbled. He sighed. "By the smell, I have a feeling that mom tried something new and burned it, so come on. I don't want to face it alone." he said with a smile. I grinned back. "Fine, but find the number for poison control first, I'm not going into that kitchen unprepared." I said. "Will do." He laughed.

Sorry its a filler chapter, Comment Please I want to see what people think :D