The Girl Next Door > jariana (COMPLETED)

thirty

Ariana

I was nervous and excited all at the same time and stoked to be alone with Justin finally, with parents far, far away. I wondered if he would try to do it with me, and if I could if he did. My heart started thumping hard just thinking about it, and about how bad I wanted to earlier, feeling him firm against me. I couldn't believe I turned a guy on. The thought of it made my insides tingle. If we did it, would it make us totally official?

I reasoned with myself, like I was making some sort of a deal. I really wanted this to be more, to give him what he wanted, so he'd know what would be waiting for him when he returned. I didn't want to be the immature, innocent little girl that he perceived me to be. He was always babying me, being my protector. I wanted to move past that. I wanted to prove that I was worthy of someone like him and that I could hold my own.

"What's wrong?" he asked shaking my hand.

"Nothing, why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "You got all quiet. If you're having second thoughts, we don't have to do this. We can go home."

"No, no, I want to be with you. I don't want to go home." I reassured him. I sighed deeply and like a ruptured water pipe without warning, words just spilled out of my mouth. "Well, there is one thing. You know, since it's obviously changed between us."

I couldn't spit the rest out. I froze.

"What do you mean?" he asked smiling at me, tugging on my fingers.

He glanced back and forth at me, and the road ahead.

"It just seems so." I hesitated. "Intense now."

He waited and turned down the radio.

"And." Coaxing me along which was one thing I loved about him, he always made me relax.

I laughed, nervously. "Justin, I feel like, self-conscious now, it's weird. I find myself thinking about every little thing. I want this weirdness I feel to go away."

"If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way." He admitted. "I have to be honest, right? Going with what feels good and right. I trust you."

Untangling our fingers his warm hand rubbed my bare thigh, sending butterflies right up my spine.

"Ditto." Was the only word I managed to squeeze out in my self-conscious state. I was a ball of nerves thinking about what the night held.

"We're gonna live it up tonight, since this may be the last time we see each other for a while."

"Why's that?" I asked uneasily. I couldn't hide my feelings. It was impossible. I was needy and utterly in love with him, and it was all about to become clear. My first schoolgirl crush, now I'm an obsessive stalker. As long as he was a willing participant, my enabler, I would be bare, always.

"Pattie's gonna kick my ass up and down the street when I come home tomorrow."

"What about the party tomorrow night?"

"Ha, the party's no problem, since we're playing. But she'll demand I come straight home and lecture me about bullshit I'm not doing right. She won't let me live this down for a while, but whatever." He shrugged off the thought. "So, on to our epic eve, Ari. Where would you like to stay? In a fabulous high rise overlooking the city or on the beach?"

My stupid, juvenile reaction was to giggle. "I don't know. You pick, since this is your idea."

"Okay, we'll stay on the beach. I've been to this swanky hotel called Shutters, and it's pretty rad. The rooms are pretty snazzy."