In the Naruto world, where there aren't any cookies (Book 1 of The New Noblesse)

A friend arrives! *Insert drum roll*

"You okay now, Ms. Grouch?" Akira teased.

"Shut up." I mumbled as I stood behind one of those changing screen things and unwrapped my towel from around me. I began to get changed as Akira whistled Blue Bird by Ikimonogatari. Dude's got good taste in music, if nothing else. Everyone was silent.

"Guys?" I asked.

"Yes?" they answered.

"You're awefully quiet, what's up?" I asked them, peering around the screen at him. Kakashi shrugged. "You're a girl and we're in your room while you're changing. Most of us are male." he said. "Yeah, he's right, Kuroi." Sakura agreed. "Yeah!" Naruto said, while Sasugay nodded. I looked around the room.

"Yes, That's true-continue stating the obvious, I'll just be behind here." I said, my head disappearing behind the screen again. Akira chuckled and Kakashi sighed.

"That's not what we meant." he said.

"Then what, pray tell, did you mean?" I asked him, fumbling for the buttons on my bra. Fuck these things. Kakashi continued,

"I meant, shouldn't you be embarrassed or maybe even a bit scar-" I cut him off.

"Akira!  Um... sorry, Kakashi, could you...give a second...? Akira, c'mere a sec, the buttons are being assholes again." I yelled, enraged. Akira sighed and came over to the screen while everyone else's eyes were wide.

"Again? Girls should know this perfectly by your age, you know." he chuckled and hooked them in no time.

"You shouldn't be one to talk, you didn't know any better than I did at first." I shot back.

"Yeah well, it was you who forced me to know how they work, since you never got it right. And I'm not a girl; your mortal issues have nothing to do with me, peasant." he said, hooking the last one and ruffling my hair then walking back to the bed. Grr... as if he's in any way immortal. Then again, he might just be that stubborn as to not die. I kinda feel sad for his killer... Assuming he's gonna be murdered, that is. Not that I'm planning or anything.

"Ah, sorry, what were you saying Kakashi?" I asked, poking my head around the screen again, only to see everyone looking from Akira to me, then back to Akira, then to me again.

"What?" we asked at the same time. Sasugay looked the most shocked out of all of them.

"It's just that he saw you almost naked and-" Sakura started before I cut her off.

"Sorry, hold on? Akira, I don't wanna wear this, what the hell? Do I look like Shirley Temple to you? Gimme some proper clothes, meany!" I said, throwing the fluffy dress at him. Well, if they were shocked before, now they were freaking out. Akira's laughter filled the room while I glared from behind the screen. He was rolling on the floor by now. Kago's unmistakable chuckle was heard through his laughter.

"Kago, Aki-chan, wanna see what happens when you die?" I asked through my teeth. He and Akira stopped laughing and shook their heads.

"Then get me my own clothes back, dammit!" I yelled at them, an anime vein on my head. They scrambled out of the room, but I could still hear their laughter down in the hallway. I growled under my breath. Serves them right for stealing my clothes and switching them with frills and lace. Huffing, I turned to see the entire Team Seven staring at me, with their jaws on the floor.

"Okay, that's seriously freaking me out, what is it?" I asked them. Naruto was the first to snap out of it, followed by the others.

"He's a guy. How come you didn't get mad, Kuroi-chan?" Naruto asked. I shrugged.

"It's Akira, I don't mind, and anyway, it's not like it's the first time he's helped." I said. Sasugay looked shocked and Sakura looked outraged, while Naruto and Kakashi nodded slowly, Kakashi was obviously thinking about something, while Naruto just looked like he was still processing what I had said. Akira then walked in the room with some awesome looking clothes.It may not be the best ninja garb, but it was freaking epic looking.

"Damn, it's epic, but so...many...strings! Akira, help here, please?" I asked him, somehow getting tangled up in all the strings. He sighed and came over to help me. Then, after he had finished unraveling me from the strings (which he so nicely informed me were ribbons), he stepped back, and admired his dressed up friend. He smiled and nodded to himself before pulling me out for my team to look at. I blushed when they stared, and Kago howled on purpose, just to piss me off. It worked.

"A-Anyway, why are you all here?" I asked, looking away from them, and glaring at nothing in particular.

"Oh yeah! Kuroi-chan, we've got a mission to go on!" he cheered. My gaze snapped to Akira.

"Cow man?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Not yet," he grinned. "Cat."

"When?"

"Ten minutes."

"Where?"

"Training grounds."

"Got it." We conversed like that as I was rushing around the room, gathering my ninja equipment. As I walked around picking up some stuff, Akira was going around picking up some stuff I would need and throwing them in my direction, not even looking. I caught them as they came flying across the room towards me, even if some were flying straight towards the back of my head.

"This, ladies and gentlemen, is called perfect sync. Heh. Shoulda had us on that bell test of yours." Akira said. I smirked.

"But how did you know about the test?" Sakura asked.

"No, Sakura, don't-!" Kakashi started, but it was too late. Akira and I turned to her and said it.

"We know everything. What was, what is, and what will be." we said, in a creepy voice. They all shivered, except for Kakashi, who sighed and sweat dropped. We snickered.

"Yea, it's 'cause we're awesome like that." Akira said.

"Be jealous, people!" I continued, as I walked to the door.

"Well? What're you standing there for? We've wasted enough time already." I said, leaving the room, leaving a shocked Team Seven, a laughing Akira and a grinning Kago.