Stumbling through the dark

But That Was Then. Now?

"Not sure, to be honest" Liam replied " He said he couldn't do this and had to get out of here then got out of bed. I put him back in then called you."

"Poor lamb" the nurse said sympathetically. "He's been through such a lot recently and coped really well. It's probably just too much for him at the moment. He should be relaxed now though. I'll mention this little meltdown to Mr Taylor. It may be that he needs a little extra support for now". A light tap on the door interrupted her and two porters appeared pushing a gurney. They gently transferred Niall on to it from the bed , covering him warmly. "Maybe, you could come down with him" the nurse suggested "just in case". Liam was only too happy to oblige and walked beside the gurney, holding Niall's small hand in his own, much larger one.

It was late evening and   Niall was back in his darkened  hospital room, sleeping off the effects of the sedative. The scans had taken more  time than originally thought  and the nurse had had to increase the sedation as Niall was becoming more and more distressed.Liam  was drowsing in a chair next to the bed, shifting uncomfortably from time to time.

"Li, Li?" Niall had woken up and called softly to his dozing bandmate"

"Mmmmmhh" Liam mumbled, opening his eyes to look across at Niall. He sat up abruptly as he took in Niall's green complexion recognising what was about to happen . He wasn't quick enough and Niall was violently sick over his bedcovers. Liam rang for the nurse who hurried in , taking in the sorry sight at a glance. In seconds , she had a bowl under Niall's chin ready to catch the next wave of sickness.

"Finished?" she questioned quietly and Niall nodded, his face pale and covered with a sheen of sweat. The nurse then folded the bedding carefully back. Liam helped Niall out of the bed and into the adjoining bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face as she changed the bedding. "Right, pop back into bed, Niall,  and let's get you comfy". she encouraged when the two men returned.

"M'sorry" Niall blushed. "I don't know what happened"

"I expect it's just the results of a stressful day.Just have a few sips of water and if that stays down, I'll bring you some dry toast. You'll feel as right as rain in no time" She patted his hand then left the two young men alone.

"I'm so sick of this being sick" Niall moaned quietly "I just want it all to stop. Li, what if this hasn't worked?"

"Ni, mate, you're doing great. Cut yourself some slack here. I know this waiting is getting you down but I'm sure you'll get the answers soon" Liam tried to sound positive but the sight of his pale and wan friend worried him. How would Niall take it ,if after everything he had gone through, everything he had risked, and it  turned out to be a failure ? Was Niall mentally stable enough to cope? He sighed internally. He searched his mind for a topic of conversation that would not cause Niall any stress and landed on Louis. " Have you spoken to Lou today?" he asked casually

"He text to wish me luck and that he'd Skype with me tomorrow. You going to LA soon?" Niall wanted to know.

"Waiting for you, mate. Once you've the all clear to travel, I thought we'd go together. See Harry and Louis. Meet Lou's little lad. Whatya' think?"

"I'm up for it" Niall smiled, the first genuine smile of the day and it warmed Liam's heart only for it to sink at Niall's next words. "Zayn is in LA. So do  you think.........?" his voice faded away and he looked at Liam , his expression a mix of anxiousness and hope.

"Nialler....look...don't get your hopes up, mate. Zayn's doing his own thing. He's moved on. " Liam cringed as he spoke. All that therapy Niall had done with Donal, he thought it had helped and it had but Zayn still had that major hold over Niall's thoughts and Liam didn't understand why. Yes, they had been so close, Zayn had been ultra protective over his younger and smaller bandmate. But that was then. Now? Liam wished he knew.

Liam changed the subject hurriedly, hoping to distract Niall from his dangerous train of thought.He randomly started talking about the new tattoos he had just got when there was a light tap on the door and Paul Taylor, Niall's Neurologist came into the room , holding a thick manilla folder in his hands.

"Good evening, gentlemen" he said pleasantly. "Niall, I need to talk with you about things. Liam, perhaps you could leave us?" Liam stood to leave but Niall grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "If Niall is happier, you are welcome to stay." Paul smiled as he watched Niall nod and look a little more relaxed though his body was held stiffly, tension in every muscle. "How are you feeling now? Nurse said you were rather ill earlier" Paul enquired and Niall shrugged slightly in reply.

"Niall, you'll be having quite a few more tests over the next fews days before we can tell you what we believe is happening. Regretfully several won't be particularly pleasant but must be done. I have studied todays scan results." he held up the manilla folder .

"And?...................." Niall's voice was barely above a whisper.