Infatuation (Camren)

nine

"Ssssh." Camila placed two comforting arms around her, and Lauren momentarily let go of all her anger towards her, allowing the younger girl to pull her into her chest and stroke her hair.

"Everything's going to be alright baby." Camila said as she kissed the top of her head.

Lauren had told her she had no right to call her that again, and she still didn't, but she didn't feel like putting up a fight. She'd also thought to herself evertime she was with Camila Cabello that there was no place that made her feel more happy, content, or safe than in her arms. It was still true.

"Camz." Lauren muttered against her chest, after they had remained like that for some time. All the student cars had emptied out of the parking lot, leaving Camila and Lauren alone in the formers truck.

"Hm?" she asked. Lauren knew that Camila had chosen to hold her tightly to her initialy to comfort her, but for some time after, to comfort herself. Camila wasn't ready to face the consequences of her actions, and keeping Lauren, the only person who knew about them, pinned against her, she was able to pretend for a little while longer that they didn't exist.

"We aren't exactly making any progress here." Lauren pulled away from her chest, dissapointed as she felt the warmth she had provided her rushing away from her body. "We really need to talk." she told her seriously.

Camila nodded, "I know."

"I mean I guess we have three options." Lauren muttered.

Camila nodded and then paused, "Uh, what are they?"

"Well," Lauren looked up at Camila, "I could have the baby and we could give it up for adoption." She searched her eyes before carefully mentioning the next option, hoping to sound as breezy as possible given the circumstances, "We could keep it and raise it together." Camila's face remained the same, awaiting her third option. "Or," she continued, "We could just get rid of it now."

Camila looked off for a moment, then returned her gaze, "You mean abortion."

Lauren nodded, "But Camila,-"

"Oh my gosh! That's so great!" Camila exclaimed.

Lauren turned to her, rattled, "What do you mean?"

"I never would have suggested we abort in case it upset you, but if you're saying you're okay with it! Oh my goodness this is such a relief!" Camila smiled and put her hands up to her temples, massaging them with the heels of her palms.

"A relief..." Lauren looked down at her own hands, fidgeting with them uncomfortably. She saw Camila place her hands over hers.

"Lauren." she said. Lauren looked up at her.

"Lauren, that was the biggest scare of my life. Thank you so much." she said sincerely, "I think this really is an eye opening experience for the both of us though."

Lauren looked up at her hopefully, "Really?" she asked.

Camila nodded, "Absolutely. We both will need to be much more careful in the future and not put ourselves in situations where this can happen. I'm going to work really hard on being honest and faithful. Maybe this was even a sign of karma." she laughed a little, running her hand through her hair.

Lauren tried to swallow the very painful lump stuck in her throat, but was unsucessful. She took this all to be bad karma? That was a little too much for her to handle.

Camila cupped her cheek in her hand and angled her eyes directly towards hers, "I'm so glad we were able to make this decision together." she said earnestly.

Again Lauren tried her best to swallow the growing lump. She couldn't remember ever having made a decision.

"Do you need help, you know... making an appointment?" Camila asked a bit awkwardly, "Uh, do you want me to go with you?"

Lauren shook her head, unable to speak. She wasn't really giving her a chance. But she couldn't turn back on her now. She had been so relieved, so happy when she realized they wouldn't have to go through this.

"Do you need a ride home?" she asked.

Lauren turned to her, dumbfounded. She felt like she was trying to kick her out now. She had to sustain the anger, it would only cause more tears, and she was growing so weary of crying.

"No." she managed, "I'm parked...in my spot."

Camila nodded. She reached across the seat, hugging her one final time, kissing the top of her head.

"B-Bye Camila." she said hurriedly, unable to even call her by her nickname. She reached for the passenger door and hopped out. She needed to get home and lay down. She couldn't process what she was going through at the moment. She didn't even know what she wanted, but she felt cheated. She deserved the oppurtunity to make her own decision, and she knew that, but Camila evidently thought she had already made it, and she was still to yielding to Camila's every whim. She just didn't want to upset her anymore. She wanted to make her happy, whatever that meant. It was complicated.

"Uh, bye." Camila replied, shocked at how quickly she had moved from her arms and out of her truck.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Lauren mumbled, before slamming the door shut. It was a lie. They both knew it. Tomorrow, Camila would be back to trying to pretend Lauren had never existed in a vain attempt at what she thought would make her a better woman.

When she was in her own car, Lauren immediately turned the radio on, cranking the volume up far above comfort level, and quickly whipping out of the parking lot. She wasn't going to allow herself to think anymore about Camila tonight, or the baby the two had helped create. The baby. The volume on the radio went up louder, suceeding in giving Lauren quite the headache. But the physical pain was nothing compared to the anguish she repressed inside.

--

First off, you have no idea how badly I want to be able to give Lauren a hug and tell her she doesn't need to listen to that brown eyed jackass any longer. (But come on, we all know in reality Camila is still our smol little bean that needs to be protected, and that we love)

Second, as for the smol little bean, I am having vision flashes in which Lauren opens the door and shoves her out of the truck, then proceeds to back over her with it. Would serve her right. (Again, still love mila with all my heart :))

Third, I still think Camren is the definition of love, even if Camila is turning into quite the little shit in this story.