Ship Us To Make Us (vhope)

Reasons Withheld

(Yoongi pov)

No No No

That's not right.

Maybe this?

Ugh...

I crumple the music sheet into a ball. This isn't working. I drag my hand down my face in frustration and chug down my cup of coffee.

I glare at the clock in front of me.

6 AM

I haven't gone to sleep at all yet and it's killing me. I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in weeks and it's starting to catch up to me.

A knock on the door catches my attention. Jimin enters the room and shuts the door behind him. He looks at all the balls of paper thrown around the studio.

"Hey."

"Hey."

I twirl my pencil in my hand as I wait for him to say something.

"Have you been up all night again?"

"Yeah, what about it?" I answer harshly.

"I'm worried about you. Maybe you should take a break and-"

"No, I can't take a break. I want to write a song that will really touch our fans and that's not going to happen if I pull back." I stare blankly at the fresh sheet music in front of me.

Jimin walks towards me and twirls my chair around to face him. He flicks my forehead making me scrunch my nose up.

"You won't be able to make any meaningful music if you keep running on empty. You need to take a break and recharge." He advices. I hate him acting so motherly. That's Jin's job.

He stands back up straight and scratches his forehead. "There's one more thing I wanted to ask you." He doesn't continue so I gesture with my hands for him to continue.

"Well... Why are you so intent on bringing a wedge between Hoseok and Taehyung. Don't you feel bad about what you're doing?"

I twist my mouth to the side and avert my eyes. "Of course I do. It's just I thought that I could use them to get new ideas on songs,but I don't think it's working. Not to mention that looking around at all you guys in relationships urkes me for some reason."

Jimin folds his arms. "Yoongi, are you upset that all of us are in a relationship?"

I turn my head away from Jimin, scared that he'll see through me. "It's nothing."

Jimin doesn't seem to be buying the words I'm feeding him. "Yoongi, if you ever want to hang out with me you can."

I half laugh. "Hang out with you? That's laughable coming from the guy who played with my heart."

Jimin flushes. "You led me on then got together with the golden maknae. I'm pretty sure I can manage being by myself. Thank you very much."

"Yoongi, I didn't know you had feelings for me back then. If I'd-"

"Save it. Can you leave? You're presence is annoying me."

Jimin sighs in defeat before turning around and heading to the door. He opens the door,but stops in the door way. "If you want to take your frustrations out on anyone, take it out on me, not on them."

He leaves the room and I relax in my seat.

Screw relationships...

If it weren't for him messing with my head I wouldn't be in this mess. I would be able to think clearly and write if he didn't...

And let's not forget how he asked me to share a room with them just to spend more time with Jungkook.

I knew he could see the hurt in my eyes, but did he still do it? Yes.

I run my hands through my hair and hold the sheet of paper in my hands. I'm never going to come up with something if I keep dwelling on the past.

Think Yoongi

Think

***
(Jimin pov)

I get back into bed next to Jungkook and pull him closer to me. It was my fault for not seeing the signs. For not noticing Yoongi's feelings for me. If I had caught on sooner this wouldn't have happened.

Kookie squirms under me and opens his eyes slowly. "Jimin, you're crushing me." I pull back, realizing that I was hugging him to tightly.

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean too."
"Jiminie?"

"Huh?"

"How'd your talk with Yoongi go?" I tense at his words and glanced down at his small form. He's staring at my chest nervously while he holds my shirt tightly.

"How'd you..."

"I felt you leave the room. I know Yoongi's the only one up at this hour and I didn't hear you in the kitchen."

I exhale deeply and kiss Jungkook's forehead. "It was alright. I was just checking up on him. You know I'm worried that he's suffering from insomnia."

Jungkook searches my eyes for answers. I know he's quick to catch onto things. I know he has some incling on what's going on between Yoongi and I, but he doesn't have proof.

I know I should just flat out tell him that Yoongi and I have some history between us, but I can't worry him. I don't want him reading too much into things when nothing is happening between us.

"Maybe, we should tell our manager. I bet you he could get Yoongi some help." Jungkook suggest.

I shake my head. "No, that could start rumors amongst fans. One whiff of that and they'll tear us to shreds. Besides, Yoongi doesn't want our help." I frown at Jungkooks sad face and pull him gently towards me.

"Let's get some more sleep. We have to go to the dance studio at twelve and I'd rather be well rested than not. Unless you give me a reason to stay up." I wiggle my eyebrows around playfully.

Jungkook laughs before throwing a pillow at my face. I laugh with him and soon my previous worries start to fade to the background.

That's what I love about Kookie. He makes my life brighter and I don't want him to leave my side, ever.

A/N Sooooooo... You guys got a look at what's going through Yoongi's head. He has a heart people. He's not just blindly wrecking their relationship. He's been hurt too and doesn't know how to direct his anger. Poor Jimin, he doesn't know how to comfort Yoongi and he didn't mean to hurt Yoongi at all. Why are their lives so messy? Is this the life of an idol? Comment, and vote. Let me know your reaction to this chapter.