The Blog [cake 5SOS] ✔

[Post #29] [Confusion]

Calum

I finish reading his last post and shut down my laptop, sliding off my bed and heading to the back room where the other three are, watching a film. "Hey, you guys started without me?"

A few days have passed since I confessed to Luke and everything's been going so bloody well. He smiles all the time, and when we cuddle the world seems to be a better place. Not to mention his kisses - they're unreal - actually, they're awful. His lips are stupidly thin and dry so I have to do all the work otherwise we'd get nowhere. For example, right now he's looking at me with this gaze that means 'please can we kiss because if we don't then I might die please and thank you'.

I bend down, sitting next to him on the sofa and pulling some of the blanket over myself, before leaning towards him and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. His face becomes distraught. "Later," I whisper softly, letting my warm breath fan over his ear.

Michael and Ashton pretend to be sick so I shoot Michael a look. He immediately understands and stops, leaving Ashton to awkwardly retch by himself. He then shoves Michael and asks why he stopped. They mutter between themselves whilst my hand finds Luke's, fingers intertwining almost unconsciously as the film plays. What even is it? Spiderman? Oh right. That's okay then, I can have fun with Luke since we've watched the film like ten times already this tour.

I start off by running a hand down his leg, noticing how he tenses up when I touch him. Then I put an arm around his waist and pull him a bit closer, farther away from the other two - this causes the blanket to depart from Michael's lap and he moans about it being cold.

Half an hour into the film, Michael yawns and looks over at us with a doting smile. "Ahh. It's nice to finally be free of the tension. Literally, whenever I was around you guys I was terrified that I would let my tongue slip and talk about Luke's blog - thank God we all know about it now."

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Michael is such an idiot.

I told him not to talk about the blog yet.

Luke doesn't know that I know about it! Jesus Christ-

"Michael," Luke hisses, cocking his head towards me. I can't see his face but I know that he's really nervous right now. For goodness sake... how could you Michael... 

Michael stops smiling and opens his eyes real wide, eyes darting between Ashton, Luke and myself. Idiot. Absolute idiot. "Ha...ha... oh wait... um... did Cal not tell you...?"

"No?!" Luke hollers. I wince at his sudden change of tone and grasp his forearm. "Get off me Calum..."

"What? What's wrong? Okay, so I knew about your blog, so what?"

"You're only here cuddling me because you pity me! You felt bad about me so you just decided to confess to me, you're such a pig Calum, get away from me!!" He runs out and locks himself in the toilet, whilst I'm left to scrunch up my nose, furrow my eyebrows, and sigh.

I do actually like you Luke. Your blog just helped me to make sure of that.

How the heck am I going to get out of this one, huh?

[Post #29] [Confusion]

Monday 19/3/13 21:28

Dear C.H.,

You don't actually like me, do you.

You pretended to because you pitied me.

You pitied my blog.

You saw the sorry little teenager posting about his hopeless crush on his best friend and didn't even say anything about it.

You lied and said you had no idea this blog even existed.

I don't even know how to feel anymore.

We've hardly even started our relationship - actually, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I found out just in time, just before it deepened to the extent that I might actually cry.

Oh sod it. I'm crying now.

I genuinely thought you liked me. I was so happy, so ecstatic. You're probably reading this now, feeling sorry for me, the idiot who thought that posting online would be a good idea. Of course the recipient of these letters would see it. Of course he'd pretend to not have seen it.

I wonder how all our fans are feeling right now? Are you all happy that it all failed, or are you going to join me in mourning? It's amazing how quickly things can change. I knew that you were never the one for me C... it was never going to work, I was just being a delusional freak with too many feelings. I also knew that you were better off without me. I hate this, I hate that I had to experience heartbreak so early on but I guess I don't have a choice.

I'm going to stop liking you. You caused this... so... until you sort it out I'm not going to post on this blog, I'm not even going to speak to you unless I have to.

This is goodbye, C.

And goodbye, Tumblr.

Yours,

Penguin <(")

petewentzisbae: shit

Oh dear... how on earth is this going to be fixed I wonder? Find out soon...

Dedication goes to lilo93 for voting so much! Thank you so much for reading and voting - I really appreciate it. Your reward is a virtual LP player and 5SOS LPs! That's right - every EP and album they've released - all virtually in LP form! Hope you enjoy it and thank you ;D

Kimmy xx