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[Post #24] [The Wait]

Luke

"Hey Ashton, do you have a moment?"

Ashton looks up from his phone and nods. "Yeah what's up?"

"Just... could we talk... cause I kinda have something I wanna say." He smiles gently and points towards the cafeteria doors. I nod and we leave the room, not looking back to say goodbye to Michael or Calum. Not that we'll be gone very long anyway, but you know. Politeness and all that.

"Talk to me."

I take a deep breath and fan myself with a vigorous hand. "Okay... well... um... I er..."

"C'mon Luke, calm down, compose yourself, it's just me, no one else."

I nod and take another few breaths. "Basically I like Cal."

He appears to be grinning. I don't know why, I genuinely don't. "Go on?"

"I've liked him for like, almost a year now. I started writing a blog too... where I write to him. And um... Michael knows about it but you don't and neither does Calum. I just wanted to let you know so that... well... you could be aware of it I guess. I don't expect you to do anything about it, it's just-"

"It's not impossible Luke, that you two will end up together."

I look at him in astonishment. "What?" I utter.

"I'm just saying, it's not impossible." A smile is still present on his face, making me just a little bit more suspicious than I might've been at the start of this conversation. "Why don't you go talk to him about him?"

"No!" I reply whilst blushing. "I can't... I... I know it won't work, I don't know why I even like him so much, I just-"

"Seriously. Calm down." He puts his hands on my shoulders and stands me up straight. "If you want to know if he likes you or not, the only thing you can do is speak to him. Go ask him. The worst that can happen is that you find out he doesn't like you - in which case you can forget about it all and move on."

"I don't think I'd be able to do that. Finding out he doesn't like me would probably shatter me."

He sighs and shakes his head. "You'll never know unless you ask. And trust me, there are plenty of other guys out there that one day you'll fall in love with. One day... you'll forget you ever loved him. But that's not going to happen. I have faith in you, okay? Go talk to him, and see what happens. Trust me."

I swallow and nod, and with slightly sweating palms, I go back into the cafeteria where he awaits, eating a muffin and laughing at some joke Michael told him, causing my chest to hurt and pangs to strike my heart. I wish I could tell him.

But... I can't.

Not yet.

I know Ashton will be disappointed but I seriously can't help it, it's not my nature to be extrovert and tell him straight... I'd love to change that; unfortunately I don't currently have a means of doing that so I guess until then, I'll just have to be the awkward penguin you all know me to be.

[Post #24] [The Wait]

Thursday 7/3/13 21:29

Dear C.H.,

I'm saving up courage to talk to you.

I've been overthinking the whole thing, imagining different possibilities and outcomes of me telling you how I feel. It's time though. I need to do it soon, because these feelings can't be suppressed any longer or I might just burst.

Despite me saying this, I still have no idea when I'm going to be able to tell you because firstly, I'm too shy, and secondly, I'm stupidly awkward so I know for sure I'll say something really random and make you think I'm mad.

Today I talked to A. It was a brief talk but I had a feeling he kind of knew I liked you already; however he was very supportive and encouraging, something I sort of knew he'd be. He is our band dad, after all... wise A.

Would I say something like:

"Hey C, I really like you, do you like me back?"

Or would it be more like:

"Ummmmm.... so C... I...er... have something to say... erm... I kinda like you... so... er..."

Probably the latter. You know me.

So I'm going to go now. I've said plenty of times that I'll talk to you but I've never acted upon it have I? Okay. I'm going to make a promise to everyone. I'm going to talk to him before next week, and if I don't then I'll stop loving him.

It's reasonable, right?

Yours,

Penguin <(")

petewentzisbae: r u sure u can stop loving him? bc heeell idk about dat

HEY

Thank you all for reading!! I really appreciate it ^_^ I'm going to be bringing this story to a close soon, as you might've been able to guess!

Dedication this week goes to: Phandomsarereal for voting! Thank you very much, here is your virtual cake sweater full of cake pictures from their fetus days! I'll even throw in a rare virtual polaroid of the two from 2012... ENJOY! And thank you!

See you guys soon!

Kimmy xx