Kidnapped By Mistake (COMPLETED)

Chapter 22 (edited)

"I've been thinking..." I sat at the breakfast table in Troy's house with him. The doctor had released me from the hospital two weeks ago. It was only him and I since then. Unless he had to be at the pack house then I went to visit his sisters.

"What have you been thinking?" His good-natured smirk slipped into place.

"I want to be useful should anyone ever attempt to attack me again." His demeanor instantly darkened.

"No," The sharp reply made me sigh out loud.

"All I'm asking is to be able to train with the other females so that I can fight if I need to." I coaxed and he groaned lowly as though anguished by the thought.

"No," I should expect that reply as I'd been asking the question for the last few days. I'd considered it carefully and even approached his sisters first to research what I would have to do. They were excited at the prospect of me joining them in a pack activity and I thought he would be pleased. But any reminder of the kidnapping drove him to the place where he brooded and shut down. I just wanted to move on and that meant being prepared if anything should ever happen again. I was tired of being the victim. Troy tried to apologize by placing a bowl of cereal in front of me, an olive branch of sorts. It's not that I wasn't interested in his apology but I was not hungry. I never was anymore. Sometimes I choked down some food but most days I pretended for the sake of appearances. "How did you sleep, babe?" He carefully steered the conversation away from my question back onto a more steady territory. I soured at his 'safe' question.

"Fine," I answered standing up and stretching. Truthfully I almost never slept anymore. Every time I closed my eyes there he was. And I couldn't even fall asleep without some turmoil, every noise put my senses on the highest alert. I mostly faked it, tossing and turning until Troy was asleep and then getting up quietly. I usually went to his office and used the computer to read fantastical fiction stories for hours until my eyes wouldn't stay open. Then I would creep back to bed and fall asleep for two hours maximum before waking up with Troy. I lived on coffee and nightmares. Speaking of, I sauntered to the carafe and poured a cup. When I turned back around I caught his frown at me. I knew that he could tell I was lying but for now, he let me, how long would he continue to do so? I don't know. He was being gentle like I would break again and stop speaking once more if he made the wrong move and I knew that it was taking a toll on him but I couldn't force myself to do something that I wasn't ready for. Any intimacy beyond sleeping next to him made me flinch and memories of the hell I went through came rushing back. I wasn't raped but every unwanted advance and touch when I was helpless to resist took a toll on me. The worst was when someone got too close to my neck. I kept the scar covered with fabric all the time simply because I couldn't look at it. I don't even know what its loss meant for us as mates. Everything I had felt for him was still there but for how long? Would my feelings fade to nothing until I was only here because he still loved me? I didn't have the answers. "Can you please just think about it?" I asked turning my face down to my mug.

"Why don't you get some more sleep, babe, I'm going to my office to work on some papers anyway." He came over and kissed my forehead. Calling me out on my lie in the gentlest way. I winced mildly at the contact but turned my face up to his and smiled softly.

"I'm okay, I just woke up." I drained my coffee and set the mug in the sink after rinsing it out. "I was thinking about driving over to my brother's today to check on him. I haven't seen him since the hospital and I have to pack some of my stuff up in the old house because he thinks we should sell it."

"Do you want to sell it?" I looked out the kitchen window into the mountains.

"I think it makes the most sense. Neither of us is living there and we don't use it for anything other than storage. Do you mind if I bring some more of my things here?"