55. Torn

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I ran up the stairs and to my room. I quickly took off my dress and changed into a pair of jeans and a tshirt. I looked in the mirror and I looked a miss. My hair was all over the place and I just barely still had makeup on. I brushed my hair and wiped of the excess makeup and went back downstairs.

Nicki- where you goin?

Meek- what do you mean, I just came to get her.

Nicki- can you like stay for atleast 5 minutes? I wanna tell her bye.

Meek- it don't take 5 minutes to do that.

Carol- well I'm gonna go ahead and go. Bye munchkin butt. Bye Meek, Nicki I'll call you later on.

Meek- see you later

Nicki- bye mom

She walked out and then the war started.

Nicki- why can't I spend 5 minutes with my daughter?

Meek- Nicki I got other shit to do, if you would of been here on time then you would of got to spend more than 5 minutes with her.

Nicki- just a few minutes Meek damn.

He finally gave in and sat down on the couch.

Nicki- come here baby" I said to Morgan

Meek- I saw you on tv last night

Nicki- yeah..

Meek- that was at 9 o'clock. What was you doing when you didn't answer mine or ya moms calls and texts last night?

Nicki- I was busy Meek

Meek- busy doin what?

Nicki- busy minding my business

Meek- to busy fuckin some nigga to answer calls and text that could concern your daughter. What if something was really wrong?

Nicki- I didn't have my phone with me when you called or texted

Meek- whatever man

Nicki- why are you mad? Is it because I didn't answer your calls or is it because I fucked somebody?

Meek- all of the above

Nicki- as if you didn't fuck a bitch while I was in prison, in prison and got her pregnant. And you still fucking her!

Meek- how you know what the fuck I be doin?

Nicki- you mean to tell me you ain't having sex with her while y'all living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed?

Meek- nope

Nicki- whatever Meek, your clearly full of shit.

Meek- you doin all this telling me that you wanna be with me and that you love me and then I see you on tv with this nigga and you stayin overnight at his house and shit doin God knows what. Dont keep tellin me all that bullshit if you already got somebody.

Nicki- I do wanna be with you but I'm not gonna keep waiting on you. I'm not gonna be lonely until you figure out what you wanna do. You obviously don't wanna leave her for some reason so you go be with her and I'll be with whoever I wanna be with.

Meek- that's what you want?

Nicki- that's obviously what you want!

Meek- ight

Nicki- when you stop playing games then I'll stop seeing him, but until then I'll continue to keep doing what I want.

Meek- cool

Nicki- fine!

I was so pissed that he was trying to make me look like this hoe that was choosing a man over time with my daughter that I had started shaking. My face was hot and I was either gonna slap the shit out of him or cry. I chose to just cry it out.

Meek- you serious?

Nicki- can you just leave?

Meek- what the hell you cryin for, ain't nobody did shit to you.

Nicki- it's not about what somebody did, it's what you say and do.

Meek- what did I say and do?

Nicki- figure it out

Meek- I can't figure it out so why don't you just tell me? What's the problem?

Nicki- I'm not about to do this because no matter what happens I always end up the one hurt in the end.

Meek- what are you talking about?

Nicki- nothing Meek

I kissed Morgan and gave her the biggest hug her little body could handle.

Nicki- I'll bring her out

I slipped on some shoes and walked her out to the car. I put her in her car seat and strapped her in before giving her one last kiss and shutting the car door.

Meek- sit in the front seat real quick

Nicki- for what Meek?

Meek- so you can explain to me what's goin on with you.

Nicki- I'm not explaining anything, figure it out.

Meek- so you not gone tell me?

Nicki- no

Meek- ight then

He rolled up the passenger window and pulled off, I went inside and laid on the couch. Everything was hitting me all at once. Things would never be ok between us because there was just to much history between us that could never be forgotten and a lot of shit that could never be forgiven. I didn't know if I should just give it up and move on or keep the little bit of hope I had. I loved Meek a lot but he was a headache and Odell was the Advil  that I so desperately needed right now. My head was telling me to go after Meek and take him back but my heart was telling me that there was no use because he didn't really want me. I didn't know what to say, or do, or thing at this point and I didn't wanna choose because I was scared that I would make the wrong decision. But I didn't wanna be alone. I couldn't be alone right now.

* PSA: ODELL IS NOT DYING NOR IS HE GOING ANYWHERE!
* IF NICKI WAS YOU IN THIS SITUATION, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND WHY?

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