Pregnant By My Abuser

Chapter 1

Picture of Crystal

I fall back, hitting my head on the headboard. I push myself back, seeing his twisted, yet handsome face above me. The doorbell rings and he quickly turns like a predatory animal. "Answer it," he says harshly, "and you better not say anything."

I whimper, almost falling, as I make it to my feet to hurriedly get away from him. Feeling his eyes on my back, I make my way to the door, catching a calming breath before opening it. "Hey girl, are you ready for rehearsal? And where is that fine man of yours?" I shake my head with a small smile on my lips, hoping she won't see how relieved I am. It's Crystal, one of my best friends, she is always so loud and the life of the party.

"He's asleep, I just need to grab my bag from my room, then we can go. Where's Faith?"

"Monique," she puts her hand on her slim hips. "You know momma bear is in the car, about to have a hissy fit." Just as she finishes her sentence, I hear the horn blowing for us to hurry. "See? And y'all call me the diva. I will be out in the car."

I laugh a little, but quickly stop knowing he's in there. The devil wrapped in a glorious package. I make my way into my room and grab my bag. "You not gonna say bye or give me my kiss."

"Of course I was." I walk over to him as he sits on the bed. He roughly grabs my chin, making me jump, and pecks my lips. Giving me a look that says I'm dismissed, but our 'argument' isn't over. I hurry to make my way to the awaiting car. I quietly sit in the back as the girls talk upfront. They don't ask questions, because I've always been the quiet one of the group.
Before him, life was simple: music and friends, that was my life. We didn't have much, but what we had meant everything. The three of us found each other in Miss Noel's care in a foster home. It was like 6 kids total, all girls, ranging from 10-16. The three of us were 16 together with Crystal being the oldest and Faith being the youngest. From looking at us you would think Faith was the oldest, but no. Miss Noel made us sing together because we couldn't stand one another when we first got there. I smile, remembering only worrying about not singing loud enough.
Now, my smile falters, now I worry about rather they can see my bruises. I worry that, they can tell that he no longer loves me, like he used to. I still love him though, which is why I'm still here. He used to love me, used to wake me up to kisses and breakfast in bed, but now I live in fear. I stare out the window and watch as trees pass by. They are free, unlike me.

"Alright ladies, we are here," Faith says. Okay, time to put my game face on. "Crystal, try not to go flat this time will you?" We all laugh at that. She can't even get mad, because she knows that Faith is right.

We make our way into the cool building. Thankfully it's a private entrance, no fans hounding us. I look up to see the huge stage, where everyone is trying to still set up. Faith always rushes, then we end up early. I'm fine with it though. A break from John is needed. I sit in one of the theatre chairs about to relax a little, until Sabian pinches me.

"What the fuck?" I snap. I'm the quiet one, but I can't stand our drummer. He's like a flea or something.

"Oh, come on ladybug, don't be that way." He knows I can't stand that name. Why is this man so bothersome? "They're ready for you up on stage."

I look up and they are waiting for me, I guess I zoned out. "Come on girl," our manager Ben says into the mic. "We got a show tonight, remember." He points at his imaginary watch. That ninja. Everyone seems to be pissing me off lately.

I run to the stage because I don't feel like hearing his big mouth. I'm lead, so once I get on stage I grab the middle mic. First we do sound check for each mic, so they can have the volume correctly adjusted, etc. Now, it's my second favorite part: going over the songs and dances.

°°°

Up on stage in front of a huge crowd, is life for me. This is my favorite part. It's my release from all of my pain and shame of staying with John. He never comes to my shows, because he's always busy. Even though I love him, I'm happy for that. This is my time. This moment, right now, makes me feel like:

It makes me feel like I'm superwoman on a mission to save the world. That there's no man waiting at home, to beat me again.