Intrepid » n.h. au

Chapter 54

"You know what you should be thinking about?" I scoot closer to her, putting one arm around her and my other hand on her face, making sure she looks at me while I talk to her. "How we're going back home, to Chicago, and how we're gonna be living together, you and me, and Louis, and how you're gonna meet your little one, and be a part of it's life as much as possible."

I scan her face for a second, finding it odd that she didn't object to anything. "And... you're gonna start college, and be everything you've ever wanted to be, and we're gonna be okay. And everything's gonna be okay."

She blinks at me when I finish, giving me a look of hope for the first time tonight. "I'd... really like it if we were okay. I don't have a lot of good things in my life, but you're one of them."

"Hey," I smile, take her left hand with my left one, and lift them in front of her face so she'd look at them. "We're here for the long run, right?"

She grins at the sight of our identical rings, and looks at me with the same look in her eyes that she had when I was down in front of her on my fucked up knee, holding the ring she's wearing in my hand- it took us to coming to England, finding out some people just never change for the better, and Freya breaking her hand, but I finally feel like I'm not bullshitting when I say that everything is going to be okay. I'm sure of it now. It's going to be okay.

*******

"Hey, can..." I finally speak up, deciding to voice the thoughts that have been cluttering my mind since we landed in Chicago. "Can I ask you something?"

Freya hums in response, and I gulp when I see her pulling out the key already- "Wait- wait," I force the words out of my mouth, making her turn around to look at me confused; I'm just glad she didn't unlock the door.

"I... I know we said we're gonna give your old apartment a shot, but..." I gulp, not sure if I can continue; I mean, we're standing right in front of her said old apartment, I might as well not say anything until after we've tried it out. "I- can I sleep on the couch?"

Instead of saying something even more confusing, I ask the alternative, stupid question. But that doesn't take away any of her confusion either. "What? There are three bedrooms, why'd you wanna sleep on the couch?"

That's actually a really good question. I've been living in a one bedroom flat for so long, I forgot there are apartments with multiple rooms. "Okay... can we sleep in one of the other two rooms? And... not in the one you used to sleep in?"

Freya noticed the look on my face, noticed how tense and anxious I probably look, and slowly walks over to me. "Or... we could make it ours?"

She's giving me an innocent look, but I know what she means as she casually unzips my windbreaker- that's even worse. "Freya, it's not because you shared the bed with someone else for years, it's-"

"I know what it is, okay? I know what it is, it's what happened in the room." She nods, getting a grip on my jacket with both of her hands as she looks at me. "But remember what you told me? Not to dwell on the past? What happened to me is in the past. I let go of it. You do it too."

"I can't."

"Niall-"

"Listen, I'm really happy if you really have let go of it, but..." I shake my head, earning a both sad and irritated look from her. "I just don't want to sleep in that bed. Knowing that... no, I can't sleep in that bed, I can't be anywhere near that bed."

The look in her eyes softens a little, and she pulls me closer to her, "What if I washed the sheets? We could sleep in another room until-"

"No, no." At this point I'm starting to bounce in place. "It's the bed. It's the whole bed, whenever I hear it creak I'm gonna think it's because of-"

"Okay, okay, alright," She stops me, breathing out a laugh at how fast my nervousness is making me speak. "We'll sleep in the other room until we can afford a new bed. Is that okay?"

"Why does it have to be that room anyway? Why can't we just sleep in one of the others for good?"

Freya shrugs, probably not knowing the answer herself. "Dunno, it's the biggest one. And has a small bathroom. And it's the closest to the front door, and kitchen-"

"Well then that is a good reason for it to be our bedroom."

"Alright, can we go and get some sleep now?" She laughs, pulling me towards the front door of her old apartment, "I'm jet-lagged and wouldn't mind sleeping for the next thirteen hours."

"Um, okay, but you said something about making your old bedroom ours..."

"Yeah?"

"Can that apply to other rooms?"

She giggles, getting on her toes to reach my lips with hers, but not completely touching them, "Sure," She whispers, "The counter tops in the kitchen are granite, it's gonna be better than sex in your childhood bed."

"Really?" I breathe out stupidly, "I didn't think anything could beat sex in my childhood bed," I laugh with her, wrapping one arm around her waist to pull her against me and kiss her, giving in at last. She somehow manages to unlock the door without looking at it, with the key she's been holding the whole time, and we stumble in similarly to last December. Only this time I've known her real name for longer than two days, we've known each other for longer than two months and, well, we're married. The fact that December was five months ago is making me a little lightheaded.

I push her against the door, shutting it with her body; I get my backpack off my shoulders and toss it somewhere to my left, while she slides my jacket off, letting it fall on the ground behind my feet. I take a minute to just kiss her against the door as she takes her rucksack off too, and fortunately she allows me. With everything we've done in the past week and a half, plus us taking a two month break, I don't feel like I've gotten enough time to appreciate her like I used to.

"Do you wanna take a minute to rest first?" I mumble against her lips, feeling her hands underneath my sweatshirt, "We just got here and-"

"Let me check," She says, pulling away, and making a thoughtful expression as she feels the front of my pants- making me gasp. "Nope, we're all set."

I laugh, a little louder than intended, while she shrugs her jacket off too, quickly putting her hands on my neck and her lips on mine again. I grasp the sides of her blouse, walking us toward the kitchen without either of us really looking at what we're doing-

"What- what the hell?"

Both Freya and I wince in fright at the sound of a third voice; well, actually, I wince in surprise, while she literally jumps from the ground and pins herself onto me, her arms around me and neither of her legs touching the ground anymore. Her breathing is fast and uneven, almost like her pulse and heartbeat, and I don't know what scares me more – someone else standing behind me or Freya's condition right now.

"Freya?" I call her name, a little cemented myself. "Are you okay?"

She doesn't give me a reply, so I lean slightly forward, making her get back on her feet. It works, but I'm not sure I'm glad about it when I see the look on her suddenly pale white face – she's lost all the blood in her cheeks, her eyes are widened and fixated on something behind me. And I'm fucking terrified to turn around.

"Hey, what's going on here?" The two of us jerk at yet another voice, but this is not what I could've expected – a rather sleepy police officer, walking out of the living room, looking in the same direction as Freya. "We said no friends before noon."

With a gulp, I look over my shoulder- to see exactly what I've been fearing. Well, not exactly; the person is gripping a pole that has an IV bag hanging from it, and he looks significantly less healthy than the last time I saw him. Nevertheless, it's who I thought it was when I heard his voice.

Craig.

*******

there are 5-10 parts left until i finish this book, that's gonna feel weird

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