Unpredictable (A Dance Story)

Chapter 23

*Back to Ella*

I closed my eyes for a second and leaned back against the wall, ignoring the dull ache in my head and stomach. Never a good sign. When I opened my eyes again, I noticed Holden typing on his phone. Whoever he was texting must have been really funny because he couldn't keep a smile off of his face.

"Ella!" Miss Sarah called. I got up and dropped the iPad on the chair I'd been sitting on.

"You don't look good," she commented as I stepped into the room. Her hand flew to my forehead and she frowned.

"I'm fine," I said with a shrug.

Miss Sarah let out a little puff of air, but turned and started the music. I listened for a second. It wasn't a song I knew.

"Alright. The song is called 'Out of Reach' and has a lot of emotion," she said, looking at me expectantly.

I nodded, instantly regretting it when dizziness started to spread through my head.

"You're basically after something you can't get," she began, "Which you need to really play up."

"Okay," I replied.

My session with Jane had sounded a bit like this. I recalled her words, hanging on the distraction to keep the pounding of my head and ache in my stomach at bay.

You have to realize that things won't be the same. You may be chasing clouds without a chance of ever catching them in your hand. For better or for worse, paralysis is part of who you are. But here's the thing about change...It opens new doors. Sometimes things don't seem nearly as impossible after a factor is changed.

I stumbled out of a pirouette, letting out a sound of surprise. When was the last time I had done so few pirouettes? I didn't stop, though. The new choreography was fresh in my mind and I wasn't about to let something like that get to me.

Wait, what had Jane said to me next? Something about being all alone or out of reach? No....Those were the lyrics to the song I was dancing to.

Geez, Ella. Get it together.

I paused, looking at Miss Sarah. Something definitely wasn't right. I couldn't remember anything I'd just been taught. The music echoed through the big room, bouncing off of the mirrors in the front.

"Ella, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," I managed.

I turned my attention to the mirrors, blinking at my reflection. Without thinking, I started to do a combination I'd learned a while ago. It didn't fit the music.

"Really. I can come mark it in front if you-"

But I actually saw something coming for once, and I ran for the door. No way I was making it very far. I collapsed against the garbage can in the waiting room, emptying my stomach until there was nothing left.

I actually looked up. Lifted my head slowly, taking in the scene I'd probably caused. Abbie's eyes were wide. I didn't know why she hadn't left the studio yet, but she was at my side in an instant, lifting me to my feet. I looked beyond her, my eyes finding the trademark golden blonde hair. I shouldn't have bothered.

Holden had gathered his things, a disgusted look on his face. Without a word, or even a glance, he slipped past us, taking his bags with him. For some reason, that hurt worse than being dropped.

***

I didn't sleep.

At first, I tossed and turned, falling asleep for small bits of time. It wasn't horrible, though I knew the next day would suck.

Around 2 in the morning, it really hit me. I kicked my blankets off, staring at the lavender walls. I was so hot, I didn't knew what to do. I stood on shaky legs and replaced my pajamas with a sports bra and dance shorts. It didn't help much. I couldn't sit still.

"Mom," I croaked, poking her arm. I almost couldn't remember making my way up 2 stairways to get to my parents' room.

She led me back down to the living room and took my temperature, her eyes going wide. A couple seconds later, she had brought over a bowl of freezing cold water and was rubbing my arms with a washcloth doused in it. I did my best to eat the Popsicle she handed me, but I threw it up within 5 minutes of finishing it.

Our night generally followed the same pattern. After being super hot for hours, my teeth started to chatter. The warmth faded to cold, and mom looked relieved. I shivered under a blanket, feeling the heat coming off of me but not really feeling warm.

***

My fever came back full-force after a couple of hours. I knew what was going on, but I really had no control over myself.

"Ella, drink your water. Please."

"I can't," I wailed.

"Yes, you can. You need something in your stomach."

"NO I CAN'T!"

With that, I dumped the whole entire glass of water over my head, feeling relieved of the extreme heat for a brief moment. Then the moment ended and I let out a strangled cry, throwing myself on the wet couch, hoping the spilled water would provide more relief.

"What are you doing!?" Mom demanded, rushing over.

I felt like a little kid, busted for doing something stupid.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

And then I really did cry. Hot, salty tears making my already-sticky-with-sweat face even stickier. I don't think I stopped crying. I couldn't remember that well, but I'm pretty sure that the majority of my day was spent crying.

***

"How are you doing?"

"Okay," I replied.

Abbie's pixelated face smiled at me. "That's good. I was really worried!"

I looked at my face in the top corner of the iPad. I looked worn out.

"Your mom said your fever didn't break for 2 days," Abbie continued.

"I don't even know what that means," I admitted.

Ab shrugged. "Me either. It just sounds serious."

"I know that I lost a lot of practice time," I said. My voice was pretty hoarse. "And that the junior class probably hates me."

"That's my Ella. Dance obsessed, even when she physically can't be." Ab shook her head. "You're fine. You know you can pick up on choreography fast. And the junior class dance is almost done, anyway. No one hates you."

I know one person who hates me, I thought. But that was my own fault and had nothing to do with getting sick.

Thinking about it made me guilty. Abbie had helped me time after time. She'd confessed all sorts of things to me. She was helping me now, just by FaceTiming me to make sure I was okay. And she was probably wondering why her 2 best friends weren't speaking to each other, but she had never pushed the issue. I knew I owed her an explanation. People didn't just decide to hate each other. Especially not best friends.

"I have to tell you something," I said breathlessly. Before I could change my mind.

***

Hi again. I am seriously considering deleting my Wattpad app right now. I have to do everything from safari, seeing as the app has me practically ripping my hair out. I am way ahead in chapters, so I can't keep track of what I already posted, and.....long story short: you almost ended up with chapter 20 instead of this one.

Whatever. Vote, comment. Bye.