unsmiling

6| h & s

today's topic is hide & seek, a game that most of you already know and i trust y'all have played it more than once.

hide-and-seek
hʌɪdnˈsiːk/
[noun]
~a children's game in which one or more players hide and the other or others have to look for them.

fact: if one tries to have a normal afternoon with me, for example going to the shops, they will not succeed because i will try to hide at least 8 times.

i love hiding

as a kid i loved running around the fruits and vegetables section laughing with my siblings because we thought our mother couldn't find us.

I don't know why, but something about crawling in a dark corner or standing behind something tall makes me really happy and excited. hearing them walk around and sigh in frustration really makes it even more fun because i know they will never find me.

the game hide and seek is really fun as well, but the point of it is you hiding and them searching, which takes some of the fun out for me. i like hiding unexpectedly more than hiding when I'm supposed to be hiding.

i live in a rather large house, and playing hide & seek in here is pretty funny. a couple of weeks ago i played hide & seek with my family. i hid for an hour and forty-five minutes before they found me because i was standing in a room that we have abandoned. (old bathroom without tiles etc)
my theory was that because we don't use it, they wouldn't bother to look there, making it a perfect place to hide. i was right.

I'm really good at hiding. in the past i have hid in closets, underneath pieces of furniture, inside pieces of furniture, underneath tables, underneath really low tables no one bothered to look, behind the telly, behind curtains, inside the washing machine, on top of kitchen cabinets, behind beds, behind doors and many many more.
those are all pretty understandable (well, most of them are), but the ones I'm most proud of, are the ones in plain sight. i have hid on the floor without anything else. by not moving, i was able to pretend to be a cloth or something. they took an hour to find me and i was there all along.

i think an important rule you can learn from that is that you are what you believe you are? maybe I'm thinking too much about this.

only yesterday i hid for my family, and it's honestly so liberating. i was sitting behind something and after some time, people stopped looking for me. i did hear them asking each other where i was a few times but they didn't walk around anymore. the interesting thing is that I wasn't comfortable at all. folded up on the cold floor and my limbs started hurting, but still i loved it. pain is part of the thing.

i wish i could hide from my life sometimes. hide from emotions, hear them sigh in annoyance as the fear and sadness and happiness cannot find me. they'll find me in the end, i will allow their comeback with a tilted head, but at the moment that I'm in my hiding place, i feel nothing. it'd be glorious.
i wish
i wish