Blind in a Way (Frerard)

Thirty

I heard a sigh from beside me, but no words. I felt like I could scream from the lack of information. Why couldn't my eyes work for just a second? It wouldn't be so bad if I could just see his expression. Most of the news, good or bad, is hidden in expression and tone... But I only had access to the one he currently wasn't using.

"It was Frank's roommate, talking to him on the phone."

"Is Frankie okay?" I demanded.

"As far as I know!.. It's just..."

"Mikey you're killing me, I'm gunna go gray and die then you'll have to explain to mama how you gave her blind boy a HEART ATTACK." I yelled the last two words, squeezing his arm just a bit.

He took a sharp intake of air, signaling a bit of pain. I loosened my grip apologetically.

"Gerard... I think he cheated."

My heart froze at Mikey's last word. That couldn't be right. He was just going for his grandmother's birthday. He was just going home for the weekend.

He wouldn't cheat... Would he?

"Gerard?" Mikey spoke quietly. It was as if he was walking on eggshells, trying not to make a sound.

"There's just no way..." I said, closing my eyes. I had trusted him. Maybe Mikey heard the wrong information. Maybe he was wrong...

"It sounded pretty serious..."

Mikey's words only hit me harder the longer he spoke. I let Frank in on so many levels... I had even let him see the eyes that I kept out of sight from everyone, including my family. He couldn't of done what Mikey accused him of...

"Gerard, I'm sorry..." I felt a skinny arm wrap around my shoulders, "Maybe I heard wrong... I'm not one hundred perce-"

"What exactly did you hear?" I asked, interrupting him.

Mikey let out a sigh. "You didn't sleep with her, did you?"

Her. Frank had said he missed parts of being with girls... I guess so much that he really wanted to go back... I should of known he would go back. No one wants to be stuck taking care of a blind boy the rest of their life.

"Gerard?"

"Mikey, have you ever taken Pete to the campus coffee place?" I asked, trying to hold off the shakiness in my tone. I was also trying to keep any tears from even forming. "T-they have a great coffee... If you have a hangover, I'd suggest it..."

"Gerard, are you-"

"I'm fine, Mikes." I nodded, "Just go take your boyfriend for some stupid coffee, alright?" I shrugged his arm away and layed myself down into my side, pulling up the blanket.

"Gerard, are you sure you don't wanna talk?" Pete asked, quietly.

I remained silent. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to think about it, but not talking was just going to let it pester my brain and eat away at me...

"You sure?" Mikey asked.

I didn't speak. A few minutes later, I heard the creaking of Mikey's bed as well as felt the lifting of my bed. Footsteps crossed the room and the door opened.

"Just give me a call, alright?" Mikey sounded concerned, but I just couldn't say anything without beginning to break down. The door closed and I was simply alone with my thoughts for what felt like the longest time...

Then, there was a knocking on the door.

"Gerard?"

I shut my eyes tighter at the sound of Frank's voice. What if it was true? What if Mikey had heard right?

"Gerard, please let me in? I need to talk to you..."

I forced myself up, and pushed myself from the bed. I paused from there. I was questioning myself. I didn't want to face him and find out the truth... But what if it was okay?.. What if he didn't...

"Gerard, please. I-I fucked up and you need to know... I need to say it to you! Not through a door!"

I shakily stuck out my hand and began sliding across the floor in my socks. That was pretty much confirmation.

I reached the knob, just like last time and turned it. I only opened the door enough to stick a foot through.

"Did you really do it?" I let the words fall past my lips. I couldn't hold them back, and I really didn't want to...

"Gerard, I'm sorry, I was drunk and-" Frank began to spill, but I shook my head.

"People are just voices to me. But not you, Frank Iero. You became the first person I've seen in a very long time... And I thought you were someone I could trust. I thought you cared."

"Babe, I do care." Frank pleaded, "I didn't mean it, it's just when I drink I cant-"

"Then why were you!" I demanded, feeling so many emotions all at once. "If you knew, why would you?"

"I wasn't thinking!" Frank argued in his pleading tone. He sounded stressed and afraid... But I could care less at the moment.

"Frank, I may be the blind one, but you're the one that couldn't see how much it would hurt." I whispered, thinking back to the day I had shown him my biggest insecurity. The way his hand felt on my cheek... The way his voice soothed me... "I need some space." I said shortly, before pushing the door shut.

I let out a shaky breath, turning away from the door. He was one of the best things to happen to me... But I guess the feeling wasn't mutual...

Maybe I was just blind in more ways than one.