[ UPDATED ]
Aries: "This last shot has to pull out, but it's the only thing pulling out tonight."
Taurus: "I'm touching myself tonight."
Gemini: "Sorry, I use humor to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I'm hilarious, so don't hate."
Cancer: "You're about to be killed by a Zamboni."
Leo: "Whatever they did to me made me completely indestructible... and completely unfuckable."
Virgo: "Shh. My common sense is tingling."
Libra: "Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you."
Scorpio: "Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo."
Sagittarius: "I look like a testicle with teeth."
Capricorn: "Captain Deadpool! No, just Deadpool."
Aquarius: "Fourth wall break inside of a fourth wall break. That's like... 16 walls!"
Pisces: "I was having a nightmare. I dreamed I took Liam Neeson's daughter and he was just not having it."
Qotd: Who's your favourite superhero?
Aotd: Deadpool. Definitely dead pool. Or maybe Spider-Man.
-Poofles
YOU ARE READING
Zodiac signs & horoscopes I
RandomEver wished that there was (yet another) book about Zodiac signs? Well your prayers have been answered! (I think...) Anyways, this book has a few swearwords so don't type in the comments, "OMG! Swearing is a bad influence! Never say the f-word ever...
