Only Cry Silent Tears

The Blind Side

"It's rude to stare." I said finally speaking up flipping to the pages in the text book.

"Oh I'm sorry it's just...."

"Just what?" I asked looking up.

"That..." He said moving my hair. I jumped for a second, but not because his touch reminded me of Rodney. I actually liked it. Then again it felt weird because he was looking at the bite mark on my neck.

"Bite marks huh? You got a boyfriend or something?" He asked. I quickly shook my head no.

"No, no boyfriend." I said looking back through the book.

"So you got a girlfriend?" He asked.

"No, not at all." I said. He looked me in the eyes I guess trying to see if I was lying or not.

"So who bit you?" He asked curiously.

"Christian, my personal life isn't your concern. What is your concern is what's in this book." I said not wanting to get into the conversation.

"I didn't say it was my concern. I don't even give a fuck." He said he sounding extremely harsh. I had to admit I was hurt, I was always hurt whenever he said things like that to me. I have never done anything to mean to him either. You would think He'd be nice to me since I was helping him out but I guess not. I always wondered why he was so cruel to me. It couldn't be because he thought I was beautiful like Kayla said about Jessica. What could it be? I brushed it off like I usually do. I guess spending time with him had me a little on the blind side

***

Christian mother offered for Christian to drive me home but Omar came back over and was with him so he was being an ass like his usual self. So I walked until I saw a bus. I looked at the time and I was still early. I got home and started to rush upstairs to see Ava but paused when I saw Rodney. My heart sunk. He looked angry.

"Where were you Monica." He said getting up.

"I was helping a friend study." I said terrified, not so much for me but for Ava who had been out while he was here. He walked up to me and slapped me so hard I hit the floor.

"You little lying slut!" He yelled kicking me over and over in the ribs until I started to spit blood.

"You were out with a boy! Fucking whore!" He yelled pulling me by my hair.

"Uncle I swear, I ...I ...was only studying I swear to mommy" I screamed with all my might.

"Let her go! Get off her!" Ava yelled from the top of the stairs tears falling form her face. I hated for Ava to see me this way.

"Ava go!" I yelled. She hesitated but did as I said.

"Monica, if I find out your being a fucking slut, I will kill you! Monica do you understand? You're mine." He said yanking me off the floor. My right side was hurting bad. This is the worst it ever felt. I nodded because I was in too much pain to speak.

"Now clean this blood up bitch." He said kicking me in my side once again. I don't know what's going on but every day keeps getting worse and worse. I cleaned up the blood than went to Ava's room. The door was locked so I knocked.

"Ava open the door sweetie it's me." I said and she answered running into my arms. I was hurting bad but didn't care. I sat there while Ava cried herself to sleep. I went in my room it took forever to get my shirt off but I did so I could look at my ribs. I touched it and almost spit blood again. This was going to be another sleepless night.

***

I was up on time for a change because I really couldn't sleep. The pain was too much. Cooking was hell, walking was hell and the bus was hell. I got to school walking very slowly. I saw Omar first I can tell by the look on his face he was just waiting to start. I tried to turn the other way. But didn't walk fast enough cause he was right behind me. Just about the entire basketball team was in front of me including Christian. Omar bumped into me making me crash into the wall. I fell. Spitting blood onto the floor again. Everybody watched wide eyed. I was embarrassed. I ran into the bathroom spitting up even more I couldn't ignore the pain anymore. I had to see the nurse. I told her about my pains so that meant I had to lift my shirt so she could see my side. I questioned the bruises and thanks to me always being picked on and bullied she bought the hole kids jumped me after school. I was in the middle of lifting my shirt so she could put a ice pack on it and Christian busted in. His eyes grew wide and he rushed back out. I didn't want him to see me like this. The nurse told me my ribs could be fractured that I should take it easy. She wrapped me up and made me stay there to rest. Christian was standing outside and when she left he walked back in.

"What happened to you?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Christian, what is it to you? You don't care about me. You don't give a fuck remember." I said ready to walk away but he grabbed my arm I pushed him away. "Please don't touch me."

"Why won't you just tell me what wrong with you?"

"What, so you and your friends treat me even more shitty. You don't care about me, why you so pressed. I could die tomorrow and it wouldn't make a difference to you." I snapped.

"That's not true."

"Oh yeah, that's right you're not done using me yet. You have to get your grades up before I can drop dead right? AHHH I fucking hate you. I hate all of you. You and your boys get a kick out of picking on me. I don't need or want your pity ok!" I said walking away I had nothing more to say. These were words I should have said a long time ago. I guess it's better late than never. I just wish tears weren't falling down my face.

***

Christian

I didn't know what to say to Monica. I guess I couldn't say anything. After seeing her with all those bruises it made me feel some compassion for the way everybody was treating her. I wanted to know what was wrong so, I found Kayla. If anybody knows it would be her. I stood by her locker.

"Christian what the fuck do you want?" Kayla asked.

"I wanted to talk to you, about Monica." I whispered the last part. I still didn't want to taint my image. She looked at me like I was stupid.

"Christian, what did you do to her?" She asked sounding concerned.

"I didn't do anything I just wanted to know who been beating on her" I said.

"You sure it wasn't you and your dumb ass friends. The way you guys treat her it could've been anyone." She snapped starting to walk away.

"No, like somebody really beat her K. Somebody beat her bad. Just find out ok?' I said then started to walk away.

"Why do you care Christian? And if I find out who what the hell could or would you do?" She asked. I didn't answer, to be honest I really didn't know.

***

Kayla

I didn't know why Christian cared but I was worried. As I was walking to class I overheard Jessica talking about how Monica got something spitting up blood and shit. I don't think she got anything but I know something's wrong with her. We never said it before but we are best friends. I tell her everything but it feels like she holds everything in. Like she is afraid to tell me some things. I love Monica and Ava we have so must fun when she's able to go to the park and the times when she's able to come over to my house. I waited when we were in Chemistry class to ask her about the situation though.

"Monica?"

"Yea?"

"If something was wrong would you tell me?" I asked.

"Kayla what's with the questions? If you want to ask me something just come straight out and say it." She said taking notes.

"Ok. I'm just going to get right down to it. Is someone beating on you?" I asked. I didn't know if I was asking wrong or if I should have changed my words around but that's how it was said. I needed to know.