Only Cry Silent Tears

I Got to Have all Your LOVE

Christian

"Yo Christian were was you earlier?" Shawn asked as we got ready in the locker room.

"Yea dog we was missing you at lunch.." Omar said.

"I had...something to handle." I said.

"Like what?" Shawn asked.

"Yea Nigga Jessica was looking for you so I know you wasn't with her..... Boy who you fucking in janitor closets now." Omar laughed. I looked at him not finding anything funny. Sometimes I look at that Nigga and wonder what the hell made him my best friend.

"I ain't fucking nobody." I said.

"Sure, its ok we gone find out anyway." Omar said and we started walking out the locker room. Practice was annoying as hell. Jessica and Yolanda was on the bench watching. Shawn kept asking who I'm seeing. It was mad annoying. Omar didn't say anything the entire practice though. He knew I was talking to somebody I guess he was trying way too hard to find out who. He told me he was coming to my house later but I told him he couldn't. I don't need another thing to stress out my relationship with Monica.

***

Monica

"Where were you Monica?" Kayla asked.

"For the last time I was studying." I said this was really getting annoying.

"You're lying Ms. Rosario it's all in that pretty little face of yours." Kayla stressed. I told her to leave it not being able to tell her about Christian just yet.

"Monica I'm your bestie you should be able to tell me shit like this." Said and I started to feel kind of bad. I told her everything else but I couldn't tell her this. Not yet at least. I knew she would go on and on about why I should do it but I didn't have time to go on about this. I still had to rush home and clean up so I wouldn't have much work when Rodney came home. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to call it quits. I was literally putting life on the line being with Christian. I ran my hair threw my now shorter hair felt the pain from my ribs thought about all the threats, the times he choked me until my face begin to turn blue or the time he tied me up and beat me for hours. These were all for no reason only god knows what he would do if he found out about Christian. Maybe this relationship is a bad idea.......

***

"Christian... I know I didn't give this time".....no that don't sound right. "Ok I cant do this"...no that sound stupid. "I cant go on like this." Fuck!

I sat on the bus on my way to Christian house trying to find a way to tell him its over. Nothing seemed to sound right. People looked at me all funny thinking I was talking to myself. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. The words its over should cover it but then I would feel bad and have to explain. This really wasn't going well. I knocked on the door. It took him a while to answer. "Hey baby." He smiled stepping out the door. "Umm. Christian....." I was about to talk but his lips were pressing against mine.

"Christian...I" I tried to talk again but he opened the door. My jaw dropped. It was hard to even tell it was his house. "Wha.....what is this?" I asked looking around. Red and white roses and candles everywhere.

"Come in." Was all he said and I did. He had the sofas moved and there were huge pretty pillows on the floor. "This is for you....." He said I was at lost for words.

"I told my mom dad and my sister about us......I wanted to do something nice so I had this set up... My father helped me...I really never did this for another girl." He said.

"Aw, Christian that is so sweet." I said and we sat down. He had slow jams playing. We kissed and ate not much talking. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to say something that would mess up the moment.

"Monica... Dance with me." He said helping me up from the floor.

"Christian I don't know about this..... What if I'm bad at it." I said nervously shaking my head no.

"Monica you can't be bad at it." He smiled. His smile made me so calm. We moved over so we were away from the pillows. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me close. I put my arms around his neck just like I saw in movies. Sweet Lady by Tyrese softly played from the speakers.

"Monica...baby you know this going to be our song right." He said. I looked up at him and smiled.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"listen to the words."

Sweet Lady would you be my sweet love for a lifetime?

I'll be there when you need me just call and receive me.

Now any other day I would play it cool

But I can't now because I want you

You see I'm hooked on how you flex your style

And I want to talk for a little while

I've never really seen your type

But I must admit that I kinda like

So maybe if you have the time

we can talk about

You being mine baby

"I don't think you understand Monica. I'm really feeling you..." He started to talk but I put my finger over his mouth.

"Just dance with me." I smiled. We slow danced some more I don't even know how but he managed to get this beautiful gold chain on my neck. I gasped sing it. It was a small gold heart with a cupids arrow going through it. I touched it.

"Oh my god Christian its beautiful." I said then he shushed me kissing my lips then started to sing the song to me.

"Say you will be my baby, Say you will be my lady, I've got to have all your love, I won't front, no woo, Just say you will give it to me, don't want to hear the maybe's, and I will give you all my love, If you say you'll be mine today. Sweet Lady would you be my sweet love for a lifetime?" He was singing as if he was asking me to be his sweet lady. He cut the music down low. "Would you." He smiled.

"Yes." I smiled and he hugged me picking me up off the floor. I laughed it hurt a little but I didn't care. Leaving him seemed like it wasn't even an option at the time. After that song ended he put it on repeat.

"You really going to keep playing that song." I asked laying back on him when we sat back down.

"Yes Ma'am, it's our song."

"You know I was going to end this." I said biting on my bottom lip.

"What? ...why?" He asked cutting the song off.

"Because I didn't think this could work...that this was just a game to you...but then you did all this and whatever the reasons were don't matter. All that matters is how we feel." I said he pulled me closer. Kissing down on my neck.

"You know this ain't going to be easy right?" He said.

"Yea I know....." I said. Kissing him again...

---

trying to make it better

its always so sad

what do you all think?

is Christian serious about Monica?

Should she have told Kayla

Will Omar find out

Should she be putting her life on the line?

Tell me whats up?

Sorry for the mistakes

-CV