Beating Heart (Delena Fantasy/Fanfiction)

Chapter 7: Am I in love?

It was Christmas in the previous month, one of my favorite holidays. I always meet with my whole family and we always eat a three-course menu, made by my mother and grandma. I noticed one thing; my uncle, Dante, didn't get invited again this year. He came out of the closet, 4 years ago. Since then, no family member talks to him anymore. It saddened me. My family is the best, but very homophobic. Uncle Dante moved with his husband to Canada, I've not seen him ever since. We are quite sexist as well. After dinner, all the boys played outside. The girls, including me, had to clean up the mess we all made. I was used to it. I have been doing that since I was a little kid. But I just don't understand why disunity got invented.

I realized the day after, that Selena didn't have any family to spend with during the holidays. She was alone with Christmas. She must have felt depressed and lonely. I didn't dare to ask, I didn't want to pity her, because she probably hates that. I wanted to invite her for New Year's Eve, but my mother didn't allow it. She, of course, never knew Selena was an orphan. But she wasn't smart either, why else would I want to invite her? She clearly hadn't thought it through. But mother knows best, after all.

Selena's POV:

29th November

I rode through the woods with my motorcycle. I knew the town should be somewhere out here. I could feel that the shadows around me hated this place already. They didn't trust all of this. The morning sun shone on my pale skin while I took another turn to the left. And there it was, Caribou. It was way smaller than I expected. The melting snow lightened up all the houses and the steeple of a small church towered above the rest. The world was still asleep, few cars rode through the thin streets. I rode down the hill, crossed past the expensive houses and looked for my new residence. I found it on the other side of the town. It was smaller and more damaged than all my previous houses together. I opened the door and carefully placed my head through the doorpost and looked around. I went inside with my suitcase and dumped my helmet and purse on a dusty old couch. I heard whispers around me.

This place will tear us apart. We hate you for bringing us here. Sing for us. Sing for us.

I hummed a melody to sedate the voices while opening my suitcase and taking out my notebook.

Debts:

Gloves $4. Winter Jacket $11,10. Sweater $8,50.

I wrote stuff down on a new page.

Size room downstairs: 17 by 26 ft.

I estimated the size of the room with my own feet. I looked at a page I made a few weeks ago. I delivered drugs 3 times a week to keep myself alive.

Deliver money:

October 3th; + 144,30. +190,50 +76,70

October 10th; +75,20. +228,60. +74,30

October 17th; 114,30. +152,40. +109,10

October 24th; 38,20. + 266.40. +78.00

$ 1580,- in total

- 450 (for moving to Caribou - $ 380 + moving van - $70) = $ 1070,-

If you think I had a nice amount of money, think again. With all the expense for electricity and water, etcetera, I had no money left. Everything costs money. It scares me. There was no way I could pay back the winter jacket. But I didn't want to be a thief, I really didn't. Plus, I had a big problem. Just moving to Caribou already costs a lot, but building up a new business of delivering drugs could, in terms of time, cost me months. I had never been this strapped for cash. I bit my lips while writing information down in the notebook. I calculated in my head how much I would have left if I divided the money I now have over 2 months. Minus 90 dollars, per week... I threw the notebook to the wall and covered my face with my hands. I sighed while my eyes filled up with tears. The clock fell from the wall, which scared me to death. I miserably looked around.

"WHAT!? CAN A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD KID NOT BE EXHAUSTED IF SHE HAS TO LIVE ALL ON HER OWN!?" I furiously pounded with my boot on the wooden cracked floor. I suddenly became lightheaded.

Watch out, weak child. You are warned.

I looked at my wrists. They were highly grey and hoar. I wiped away my tears.

7th January, Friday

"Ok. Fine. But watch out, you might have to travel miles with that lame cycle of yours." Hud said and shook his hand. I reacted overly happy and took the bills of money.

"Thank you so much, sir. I can't thank you enough. I have to pay it all on my own you know. I-"

"Save your stories for yourself and get your ass away from me." He said with an intimidating tone. I nodded and walked away from the big muscled man. I could better do what he says while doing business with him; it could cost my head if he gets mad. I walked around the corner and jumped up and down of happiness. My debts could now finally get paid off. I couldn't wait to tell Demi. I wondered how she would respond.

After closing the door of my wrecked house, I pulled out my phone and called her.

"Helleuw?"

"Demi, Demi, Demi, I got the job!!!"

"The job!?"

"I can finally deliver again and I will get paid again! Hud offered me some orders!"

"Hud deals drugs?"

"You know him?"

"I know the whole town, silly." She grinned.

"But that wasn't the point. Aren't you happy for me?"

"Of course! Only I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"I understand... Hey, can we hang out today? I am so bored."

"No, sorry. I'm going grocery shopping with my mom at 14:30."

"Oh, what a coincidence, me too."

"Oh sorry, did I say shopping? I meant uh... gardening. You know my dad, haha. Well... See you soon, bye."

She hung up. I looked wide eyes into nothing. I felt a vexing pain in my chest. Was Demi trying to avoid me? She is, by far, the worst liar I have ever met. Why would Demi lie about hanging out with me? We always met up at the weekends. If she just didn't feel like it, she could've honestly told me. But it was going so well with the two of us. We got so close in the previous months. And now it's like that day again, the day she found about my condition. I shouldn't respond to what just happened anyways. Maybe she just had a bad day.

But why would I care anyway? Again, I sounded so desperate for her. Like I needed her to not be lonely. It actually was the truth... She was everything I had, and man, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed every second of seeing her face, and I didn't even know why. It was more than I ever felt for somebody. More than Melanie, Gretl, or Amber. Gosh, even more than Mark, my ex. Did I have a crush on Demi?