Lost It All [1/5 Tony Perry series]

• Dying Inside and Out •

{ f i v e }

Tony's POV//

"I know you're lying." I choked out as I just stared at the girl. She looked up  and looked confused.

"What?" She said.

"You're pain... I can tell you're in pain." I replied quietly. She tilted her head and kind of blushed.

"How do you know?" She asked.

"People's hands don't tremble for no reason. And it's April so i don't think you could be cold." I replied.

But for the most obvious reason.... I didn't say.

"And your foots bleeding.." I added.

She looked down at her leg and she giggled. It's weird how someone can laugh about their pain. I glanced at her wrists and they were covered in scars. I winced at the sight of her arms.

"Oh well... That makes sense..." She replied.

The ambulance got there and took her to the emergency room.

**

❗️❗️ trigger warning ❗️❗️

Once they were done, I went home and walked to my room. I closed the door and locked it.

I took off my sweater and my gauze.

I saw all these nasty scars and cuts covering my arms. I grabbed my lighter and turned it on. The fire burned my skin as I hovered it over the cuts, causing me to groan at the pain.

Yes, it hurt. But... It's the only time I feel.

I put down the lighter and glanced at a picture of my grandpa and I, a couple of days before his death..

I closed my eyes and covered the cuts again with the gauze.

These Nightmares linger like the smell of consumed alcohol.

(DONT STEEL THAT ^^)

I went to bed and that was mainly it.

It's not like my life is interesting.

**

I woke up and the clock read 12:34 am. I had a killer headache and I didn't want to go to school today. I closed the shades so it wouldn't wake me up later and laid back in my bed to go to sleep.

Once I woke up again and the clock read 3:39am, I had to take my medication. I put on a jacket so my mom wouldn't ask me about the gauze and headed downstairs.

I poured some orange juice and my mom was getting ready for work again. I pulled the pills from the cabinet and put them in my mouth. I drank the juice and eat them down like a regular thing. Which they kind of are since I've been taking them everyday for the past year.

I heard a car door outside and I looked out the window to see Melanie and Cat walking inside the door. Melanie didn't have her cast on anymore?

I walked up stairs and closed the door.

"Mijo? Are you gonna be okay?" My mom asked as she knocked on the door. Every time she asks me that question, I want to say no, but I don't want to make her worry again.

She's aware of my depression and anxiety history. "Yeah mom." I replied.

"I'll see you later babe." She said as the front door closed.

From then on I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. No matter how hard I closed my eyes or how hard I tried to sleep, I couldn't.

After a while all my thoughts were consuming my mind and I was drowning in my own doubts. The voices in my head came and left constantly.

After a while, my head got tired and I finally went to sleep.

**

I woke up and the sun was up. The sky was grey and there really was no sun outside.

I put on my shoes and went outside to just enjoy the fresh air.

I saw Cat and Melanie outside taking pictures of the sky and of themselves. I didn't want to seem like a weirdo so I just went to my backyard.

I sat down in the chair beside the pool and laid my head back in the chair I was in. The fresh breeze of the air refreshed me, and it actually made me sleepy.

I started to drift asleep slowly and then all at once...

Melanie's POV//

"We should go take pictures." Cat said to break the silence. I nodded and smiled. I looked down at myself and almost choked in disgust.

I went to my closet and got some black jeans, a crop top, same black vans, and some other things.

( cover photo of this chapter )

I did my make up and hair. Cat was ready and we started to head outside. The sky was grey and beautiful.

I always loved the grey vibes of the sky. It's always beautiful.

We went outside and took a lot of pictures of us and the sky. I saw the cute guy and he kind of looked off.

Once we got hungry we went inside and eat some food and watched television.