Freed one shots

Self harm Freed x Laxus part 2

Authors note (An extremely long one at that)

Okay so this is probably going to be really long, feel free to ignore it but I just really need to get this off my chest, you never know it might help someone. Okay so for anyone thinking about suicide or anyone who is hurting themselves or even thinking about hurting themselves please just read this. So I found this on Tumblr and I just wanted to share it with you and add a few things so here we go. Also, credit to extrasad for this post.

anonymous asked:

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go

extrasad answered:

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won't and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can't even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she's never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she'll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there's something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you're gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn't leave the house anymore, she can't even get out of bed and she's getting thinner and thinner because it's too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn't sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that's when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she's screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they're all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it's gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you're not there to do it, everything is dark now that you're gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don't talk to each other anymore, they don't talk to anyone, they're all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can't breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can't fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he's never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn't save you and he's never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you're gone, and they miss you, and they don't know why you left but it must've been their fault and they should've stopped you and they should've told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too.

Okay so I just wanted to share that because it just really got to me and also, I wanted to say a few things. First of all, I know you'll of probably heard it a million times already but it's not worth it. It's not worth hurting yourself no matter what. So I'm kind of speaking from experience I guess however I've never told anyone this which is probably my first mistake anyway, I feel like a few things rom this may help some people because around May last year I started cutting. I knew that I should stop however, it's addictive and so I carried on. It got to around July and I managed to go almost two months without cutting however, at the end of August, my mum and my step dad went away on holiday for a bit. Basically I ended up cutting once again. So anyway when my mum and step dad got back, the cuts were still there and stupid (Or smart) me had cut right where my hand and wrist connected and so, I had my stepsister asking what had happened (She's ten so she didn't know what it was) however, my mum had heard her and had seen them too and basically she found out. So I'm not too fond of most the people in my year at school, in fact out of over a hundred people I have six friends and the reason I had started cutting in the first place was to let my anger out. I had told my mum when she had asked that I didn't want to get really annoyed and hurt other people to which she replied by saying that by doing this I was hurting her and the rest of my family and friends. Anyway, I couldn't stop completely and so when we went back to school in September, I started again only this time it was worse. I would go to the toilet at break and lunch and cut myself then anyway, eventually I stopped doing that and now here I am. I have to say I'm not really in the position to be saying you can stop because I think the last time I cut was near the start of December so again feel free to completely ignore me however, I have now made it my new years resolution to try and stop cutting completely. What I'm trying to say is you shouldn't give up. It may be hard to stop and it's not just cutting, there's many things like this that this can be applied to however, it always gets better. No matter how bad things may seem at the moment things will get better if you try. If it's someone at school that's making you want to hurt yourself, tell someone. I should of listened to this however I didn't and it didn't help. Even if you don't want to talk to someone or you feel that you don't have anyone to talk to, there's still people you can talk to. There are plenty of websites for things like this and I know it's not much but if you really feel like you have no one to talk to then you can talk to me. It really doesn't seem like much but it can really help. A few other thing I'd like to add is that if you really don't want to talk about it, write it down. I have a whole notebook that goes from July last year and it really helps. I don't really like to talk much and so writing it down helped a lot. Another thing you could do which I have tried a few times is write a story. I've done this with fanfiction. Basically if you feel like hurting yourself, write about a character as if they were feeling what you were feeling and then write about how their friends and family would feel if they knew how they felt. I have tried this a few times and not only has it helped me, people seem to kind of like them. Another thing I would like to say is that no matter how happy and cheerful a person seems, they do get offended, even if they don't show it. One more thing is music. Music has helped me a lot as well and it can sometimes be the simplest of things that can cheer you up. With me it's music. I f I ever feel like hurting myself, I usually end up listening to Marianas Trench simply because they're my favourite band and because I can relate to quite a few of their songs. So anyway I think that is just about everything I wanted to say but yeah. Please talk to someone, I know that every one of you reading this is amazing and has so much to live for, even if you don't know it yet, you could do something really great with your life, you can completely turn your life around if you try and it can sometimes start with something as simple as letting your feelings out and telling someone how you feel.

Okay sorry for that extremely long note but I just had to get it out there and I really hope anyone reading this who is going through any hard times will at least feel slightly better. Basically what I'm trying to say is to stay strong and don't give in, times get tough but once it's over you end up stronger than before and I don't care what other people think, you are all fabulous, amazing, incredible, super.....(Starting to run out of words here..) but you're all amazing people so stay strong and pull through this!