Dekka 2

Chapter 38

38. Increasing Thresholds.

I do not think I sleep after witnessing the death match. It has shaken me but I must not let anyone know. Would Marcus really have let me take part in such a match? Is my turn still to come?

It is only after several days of normal routine that I allow my eyes to close at all. I know that without sleep it is only a matter of time before I fail Marcus again, and I know that failure is not an option, that I would be punished with more than just a beating.

There are four of us now. Four of us that only live for our grey suits. The girl, the survivor, looks no worse for the ordeal. She has followed her instructions and that is all we are meant to do. If she feels any remorse she keeps it well hidden.

The next time I see Marcus he leads me away on my own. We go along unknown corridors, past unknown rooms. Marcus does not say a word.

We seem to have been walking for a long time when Marcus stops me outside a large metal door. He presses a button on a keypad then turns to me.

"Be brave. Don't let me down."

With that he pushes me through the now opening door and turns to walk away.

The door clangs shut behind me and I am in darkness. I have been through this before, I am sure I have, but I do not remember where. I do not remember when. I do not remember any of the details but I am filled with dread.

It is a fight, a struggle not to panic. Not to scream and bang on the door. Not to fling myself from wall to wall, calling to Marcus to let me out.

I sink to the floor, bring my knees to my chin and silently cry out my fear.

I am in a darkness so thick it is suffocating. The silence I am used to, but even that seems more extreme in this lightless space. Whenever I feel the panic building I will myself to breathe, to stay calm, and to move as little as possible.

I do not know how long I am curled on the floor before being pulled to my feet by a screeching noise. The silence was so much better than this. It pierces its way through my ears, my eyes, my mouth, my nose. It pierces its way through my very skin. I am shaking and shaking, fighting to regain some control over myself when a white light starts to flash rapidly on and off.

Every one of my senses is under attack from this strobing, screeching assault. I am crouched down with my head against my knees, trying to ease my pain. I press my fists against my head trying to reduce the pressure that is steadily building. There is no escape from it, nothing that I can do to lessen its impact. It makes me vomit again and again but it is not letting go, not giving up. Not even for a second.

And then it stops. Just like that I am back to silent blackness. The door remains shut. I know my ordeal is far from over but no matter how hard I try, I cannot remember what could come next.

Burning heat. Not gradual but sudden, I can smell the soles of my runners starting to melt on the ground. I pull myself in, trying to make as little contact with the boiling air as I can.

The sweat runs from me, the hot air seers my throat. I need to take my tracksuit off but I won't because even though the material is starting to get sticky it is giving me some sort of protection. The smell of melting is engulfing me.

Again with no warning the temperature plummets. The sweat on my face starts to freeze and I cannot stop myself from shivering. My runners are difficult to separate from the ground where the melted surface has instantly frozen. I draw myself down into a squatting huddle, trying to conserve whatever body heat I have. Is it possible to feel so cold and to survive?

My eyes start to close. Sleep insists on creeping over me but I know I cannot allow it to. If I sleep I will freeze. But there is only so much resistance inside me. I can only take so much.

With a flick of the switch I am back in a flashing, screeching hell. I want to scream. I need to scream. I bite it back. I will not give in.

As I make myself stand and face the door it opens to reveal Marcus, there to take me to the only place that I can now call home - my cell.