The one that didn't go away (Lesbian Lovestory)

Chapter 16

Joanna's POV

He looks older, so much older. He had grown a beard, his face was pale and somehow you could see the sadness in his eyes or it was just because he saw his 18 year old lesbian daughter again after 4 years.

He took a few steps forward and reached his hands out to help me up, but he last thing I wanted was he helping me out, while he shut me out years ago. "Don't fucking touch me", I groaned and got up by myself

"Okay, okay.. But at least you should come in: it's dark and getting cold..", he said with a raspy voice. I didn't answer, but I did go inside. It was pretty cold outside and who cares anyway? I wandered through his house, nothing has changed throughout the years. Every little thing still was in the same spot. I picked me a place to sit at the table. Damn, how could you feel so uncomfortable in your own father's house?

"Not very talkative, I see?", he tried to pick up a conversation again. "You still have the same sense of humour. Not funny, John.", I answered.
"You can call me dad"
"I'll call you dad when you act like one", I sassed.

"This is going the wrong way.. I assumed you didn't want to talk about what happened between us a few years ago considering you were crying in front of my door..Let's start over. Hey Joanna", he began.

"Hi.", I replied dryly not knowing where this conversation was going. A part of me wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, but the other part wanted to know this man's explanation, if he had one, for what he has done.

"What happened?", he questioned. "Too much to explain and too gay for you, I fear.", I responded.

"Look Joanna", he began," a few months after the incident between us, I started to regret it. I lost my whole family: your mother who I still was good friends with after our divorce, your brother and most importantly you. I lost my little princess. I wasn't lucky anymore, everyday was getting worse, everyday was a shade darker. Not even hungry anymore. Depression, is what my doctor concluded. I quit my job and made a journey around the world. I'm actually back since Tuesday. My eyes opened on that trip, I saw so much anguish that I don't mind anymore if you're a lesbian, as long as you're healthy and alive, I don't mind who you love. I also saw hapiness on my trip and that made me feel like I wanted to be happy too. I think it's time for me to say sorry. To you, to everyone. I want my family back, I want my princess back.", he ended his speech.

Once again this evening, tears were streaming down my face. I was out of words. "So.. Do you want to tell me now?"

"It's still too complicated to tell you all of it, Jo-, I mean dad. I'm glad you're trying to accept me, on the other hand I still can't forget you hit me.. And I seriously fucked up this time ,I think. I ran away from the love of my life. But on the other side, I feel like I don't mind anymore, don't get me wrong I love her so fucking much, but she hurt me . You know, everyone always comes to me when there's trouble and they want to talk, but when was the last time someone asked how I was doing? At the moment no one is even trying to reach me .. I feel so useless", I sobbed.

" I even can't forgive myself about hitting you.. I just can't Joanna, I hate myself for that, you know. I had such an amazing daughter and son and I threw it all away just by one stupid act that I did in the heat of the moment.. And you're not useless believe me.", he stated.

I couldn't stop crying, it felt like I just had lost everything. Besides, I saw my father for the first time in 5 years and all I did was crying, what was he even thinking of me right now?

"Tell me about that girlfriend of yours", he demanded. "Well, actually I can't tell a lot about her.."
"Because..?", he questioned curiously.
"B-because she's a teacher.. My teacher."