Holding Onto You (boyxboy)

Holding Onto You Chapter 27

"You're exaggerating, he wouldn't go to such extremes. He loves you
more than he cares about me. And besides if you leave me I'll murder
you myself." I said that and immediately felt my chest tighten. My
eyes filled with tears and I choked on my breath. "I've done it before." I let out before I could stop myself.

It was silent for a few seconds before Finn spoke. "Hunter stop. Not a
single word more. I'm only going to speak and you're going to listen."
He took a deep breath and I was about to tell him that I know what he's going
to say and if mum can't get it out of my head, no one can but he
continued. "I know that you blame yourself for your brother's death and
that's alright. I'm not going to tell you that it wasn't your fault because you won't believe me." Okay this is not going how I thought it would. "What I am going to tell you is that you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes Hunt, whether you're three, thirty or even ninety years old. And the only way to get over it is to accept that
you made a mistake. You need to understand that your actions
already have consequences. Your blindness can never make you forget
what happened but the only way you'll be able to accept it is if you
believe that it was something completely out of your control. It was a mistake, a very grave mistake that changed your family forever but it
was just a mistake. If you don't want to believe that it wasn't your fault, it will be easier to accept that it was a mistake." I listened carefully trying to process what he was saying. "Let me tell you a very obvious secret today Hunter, your dad made a mistake as well. He let his fatherly emotions get in the way of his logic and allowed his
little son to have his way. And I promise you that is a greater error
than yours. You are not the only one to blame, your dad is also at fault."

"Finn what are you saying? My dad is not at fault. I was the one who insisted I sit on his lap while he drove." Dad is not to blame.

"He could have told you no and be firm about it but he didn't and it
was a mistake that he made just like you which means he's in the same
boat as you. If you insist on blaming yourself for your brother's death than your dad needs to also take some of the blame. Your dad can not make you feel responsible for something that he's equally responsible for." I've never ever thought that it was also dad's fault because he let me sit in his lap because it's not. It's only my fault
and pushing my blame on others is not right.

"Finn let's just leave it at being no ones fault because trying to
understand my dad's point of view is of no use. It's not going to bring Andrew back and it's just going to make me think of my dad in a bad way which is the last thing I want to do. How about I tell you what I wanted you to promise me before our conversation turned to this." I hoped he wouldn't go back to talking about the accident.

Thankfully he didn't. "Please tell me, I'll promise you anything."

"Promise me that you will never let me feel that my blindness is a
burden to you or an obstacle for me. You're the only person I've met
that doesn't feel sorry for me and I really admire that about you. Your honesty. You're genuine and open and that's what makes me like you so much. Promise me you won't change or feel that you need to be different around me. Promise me you won't make me feel any different from you."

"With my whole heart I promise you that I will never make you feel any
different because I don't believe that you're different." Finn said, sounding so gentle. "And you know what makes me like you so much?"

"Uh my eyes? Vincent told me I have beautiful eyes." It was when he kissed me for the first time.

"Vincent has told every girl in school that they have beautiful eyes,
but he's right because you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen and I do like that about you but what I like the most about you Hunter is how brave you are. You're the bravest guy I know. You don't think of your blindness as a disability like so many people do. And how you love Heather and you're always kind to her even though she's mean to you. Also how you're acing all your classes like it's a piece of cake. I know that I
just said your blindness doesn't make you any different and I mean it but you are a true inspiration to everyone Hunt. Not everyone has such bravery as you to handle everything life throws at them like you do and that's what I like the most about you." He replied and my heart forgot why it's there for a few seconds.