New York Dreams • mnz

Chapter 19

"So, I heard from Nia that Abby's gotten way worse ever since you left the Burg," Chloe began as we entered the studio.

"Nah, she's probably just exaggerating. Mackenzie told me Abby's been fine. Better, in fact," I disagree.

"So much for retiring though. I mean, she's still at the studio literally every day," Chloe laughs.

"It's Abby, she doesn't trust anyone," I reply with a small shrug.

"Except you."

"Nah."

Chloe takes a sip of her coffee as we drop our bags to the floor at the back of the room, fishing in her bag for her phone. She unlocks it and begins typing vigorously. Looks like someone has a busy love life. I leave Chloe to attend to her lover and head to the front of the room to stretch. I warm up my neck, arms, hips and legs, then finish up by going into my splits and flattening my stomach against the ground. I rest my head on my hands and close my eyes, concentrating on the silence in the room. How soothing.

"Madison Ziegler!" Chloe's voice suddenly exclaims beside my ear. I let out a shriek as I bolt upright, making Chloe laugh. How dare she!

"What?" I bark, glaring at her.

"Nothing, just wanted to ask you what you were gonna do about Corey," she says, stifling her laughter. My mouth turns down into a frown. After what happened on Friday, I was honestly a little confused. I mean, Corey brought me to his house, which means he trusts me, right? But that still doesn't mean he likes me, right? But Chloe keeps insisting that he does.

"I'm not even sure he likes me," I think aloud.

"He does! C'mon, after what happened on Friday, it's obvious he does! He doesn't just bring random girls to his house, Maddie!" Chloe argues.

"But maybe he just wants to be friends. I mean, you've been to his house and you guys are just friends, right?" I retort. Chloe pauses to think for a moment, then lets out a frustrated noise.

"You know, you should probably just make a move. Like, ask him out or something. He obviously likes you!" Chloe insists, her eyes widening.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, love expert, you're so right!"

Just then, the door bursts open and the other students flood in, followed by Miss Blaise. Chloe and I are quickly surrounded by enthusiastic chatters, ending the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sophia and Corey heading towards us, making my breath catch. I still didn't know how I was supposed to feel towards him. Should I treat him as a friend, or as a mutual crush? Did he even have a crush on me?

"Hey Maddie," Corey greets, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, um, hi." Wow, really Maddie? Just "hi"? I mentally slap myself. What was wrong with me today? I've been talking to Corey perfectly fine before!

A second of silence passes between us, where we simply just stare at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. Then, Corey looks away, fiddling awkwardly with his fingers. Looks like I wasn't the only nervous one today.

This awkwardness was something new, and I didn't know how to ease it either. I tried to think of something to say, but came up with nothing. As a last resort, I considered if I should do what Chloe said to do and just ask Corey out. At least I'd have something to say. But what if... oh never mind, no harm trying.

"So, Corey, are you, um, free on Sunday? I was thinking we could maybe, um, have coffee together?" I begin, "And, um, maybe get to know each other better?" Wait, why did I say the last part? Now it seems as if it's a date. Like, a date date.

Corey looks slightly stunned when he hears my question. He was simply just staring at me blankly.

"Um, you don't have to if you're not free --" Corey's eyes immediately widen.

"No, no, I am free! I'm free on Sunday. It's just, I thought you'd want to spend some time with Phillip. I mean, him being your boyfriend and all." Corey blurts hurriedly, his hands gesticulating wildly. Now it was my turn for my eyes to widen.

"Phil isn't my boyfriend anymore, Corey. We broke up," I state simply.

"What?!" Corey exclaims, giving me a look of disbelief.

"I never really liked him anyway," I tell Corey with a flip of my hand, "Honestly, it was someone else I liked."

Then, I freeze. I said it out loud. I admitted that I liked someone other than Phil. Shoot.

"Who is that someone else?" Corey questions with a curious smile, as I expected.

"Uh, he's, um... he's..." I stutter.

"He's who?" Corey prompts, leaning in.

"He's..." Just tell him, Maddie, and get it over with. It'll lift the weight off your shoulders. Besides, it's better that he knows, right? Corey prompts me again with the raise of his eyebrow and I make my decision.

I take a deep breath and hold it for three seconds, then let it out. I can do this.

"He's... you."

I don't even wait to see his reaction, or hear him laugh at how ridiculous this is, I just get up and run to the far end of the room. I just wanted to be away, away from him and away from my embarrassment. What did I just do?

- - -

Sorry I didn't update last weekend! I was really busy the whole week with school commitments so I didn't really have time to write. Also, this story isn't exactly getting a lot of reads, so I'm not very motivated to write. I mean, I spend up to an hour writing each chapter, but yet nobody even bothers reading it, so it's getting sorta pointless.

I know these kinds of complaints are getting old for you guys since a lot of writers say it, but you don't know how much it sucks to feel like nobody appreciates your work. It really, really does.

I just needed to get this off my chest coz it's been bothering me for quite awhile and making me question if I really want to continue writing. I'm starting to completely doubt my abilities as a writer (or what little of those I have) and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do about it.

I guess for now I'll just finish this story and then start a new one and see how that goes. Hopefully, more people will read that and motivate me to keep writing. Writing really is something that's important to me, and I honestly don't want to stop, but if it makes me feel so unsure about myself, I also don't think I should continue. I really don't know yet, so yeah.

There's about six chapters left, and I'll try to update weekly as best as I can, but definitely no promises. So see you again next weekend, or the one after that, and hopefully by then I won't be in such a crappy mood anymore. Bye ~