Unspoken

Prologue

Her eyes squinted , adjusting to the light. She glanced around the room and let out a deep sigh.

It didn't work.

The door creaked open and a middle aged nurse peer inside through her hard rimmed spectacles. Astonishment glazed her eyes and her hastily pushed the door wide open and hurried inside. She checked for the patients pulse before fixing her gaze in the heart rate monitor , nervously adjusting her apron , unsure of her course of action. Finally she left the room, fear clouding her judgement. The nurse knew she had to get the patient of her hands. It was too risky. She was too risky.

She ushered the patients only relative , Xael into the room and retreated to her chambers , struggling to untie the knot of her apron.

Xael walked inside hesitantly, his foot stumbling over the edge of the plain bed. He didn't dare meet her eyes , subtly pretending to admire the plain white walls. The nurse hadn't told him much, but he'd been to enough hospitals in the past year to pick up on the classic nurse expressions.

Frankly , in that moment , Xael had selfishly hoped that she was already dead. So that just maybe , he wouldn't have to face her one last time . But the look in the nurses eyes said otherwise.

He finally gathered the courage to look her way, and was slightly taken aback to see her eyes wide open , with an emotion in them he had grown familiar with in the past few months. Her pupils were only slightly dilated due to the medication she was on , but despite it , she looked more alive than she had in months. And for some reason , this scared Xael.

For a few moments there , her heart broke for Xael - seeing him so devastated and guilt ridden. But she knew , somewhere , in the back of her mind that she'd never been one to interpret people and their emotions correctly. And this information helped her accept something she had been denying for a long time now.

He did this to you.

With a nervous stance , he sat beside her bed in a creaky old chair that seemed to be the only piece of furniture in the room apart from the bed she lay on. He silently cursed at himself for not being a let to get her better care. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath and placed his visibly trembling hand onto hers , slightly squeezing it.

She inhaled sharply , gathering the energy to jerk away.

But she couldn't , she could barely breathe in the claustrophobic hospital room.

Instead , she looked at him , her eyes pleading him to let go of her hand.

It was too soon . She needed answers first.

He seemed to notice her discomfort , as his face flushed red and he let his hand slowly slide of hers , relishing the last time he'd ever feel the warmth of her skin. He let his hand rest close to hers .

He knew what she wanted. He always had. And so , he spoke. He answered every question that he'd ever left unanswered , unveiled his darkest secrets convincing himself that it didn't matter anymore. That the game was over.

With every word that was supposed to course relief through her veins , she only broke more . Not because she couldn't forgive him , but because it was too late.

Too late for her forgiveness to mean anything to him .... or to her.

The monitor beeped notoriously and Xael broke down , his calm facade crumbling. Through the haze of his remorse and the doctors commotion , he realized that her hand had found his.

His pinky twitched uncomfortably as he waited. Waited to feel some kind of comfort from the fact that maybe , just maybe , she had forgiven him.

But sensing the warmth drain out of her fingertips only to be replaced by iciness made him shudder with guilt. And when the doctor gently moved her hand off his, he let go without resistance. For the first time in his life , he let go of something , completely accepting the fact that it was never to return.

He stormed out of the room , catching a glimpse of her soulless eyes being covered by a sheet.
The iciness of her hand still lingered inside him , and he got the feeling that it'd be there for quite a while.

The game was not over.

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Ily all!